The handy what not to do guide for the Traitors who get chosen on series three

Learn from these mistakes, or get banished

10 months ago | UPDATED 2 weeks ago

Is it better to be a Faithful or a Traitor? The endless debate, and one with no real right answer. My answer would be that despite the security from murder and general sense of what’s going on traitoring bestows, it is better to be an average Faithful than a shit Traitor. This season in particular, we’ve seen the Traitors be their own worst enemy and trip each other up even when the game is majorly favouring a victory for them considering how utterly hopeless the Faithfuls have been. For season three, the Traitors need to learn from the mistakes of those that came before them: Here’s my what not to do guide for the future Traitors of series three.

1. Don’t be naive

The worst and most game over mistake you could make if chosen as a Traitor would be naivety. Leave that to the Faithfuls. You need to be cold and calculated and have your guard up, not only when amongst Faithfuls but be wary your fellow Traitors might sacrifice you to look more of a Faithful whenever suits them. Poor Alyssa from season one. The odds were stacked against her and no one had any idea what they were getting in to, but she was out of her depth when Wilf and Amanda abandoned her at banishment.

2. Don’t get caught up in lies – remember what you’ve said

The downfall of Amanda came after people clocked she voted for Theo who she was really close to and had previously picked as her closest in the group. As a Traitor, you just can’t do that. It raises ultimate suspicions.

3. If you’re a recruited Traitor, be on RED ALERT

Nathan breaks silence on MAFS UK split and reveals Lacey left him ‘heartbroken’

Wicked Defying Gravity Holding space meme

This Wicked press tour clip is getting utterly dragged and has become a massive meme

Omg, one of the MAFS UK couples has ‘secretly reunited’ to ‘give relationship another go’

Look, I won’t lie to you: If you end up a Traitor because the OG Traitors recruit you, your best tip is probably to bin this guide off and self eliminate. The track record for recruited Traitors is bad to say the least. The only tip here is just keep your wits about you like you’ve never kept any wits about you before. Try and prove yourself as an ally to the OG Traitors and not a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter. Because if we’re honest, that’s what you are most likely to be in this scenario.

4. Don’t rest on your laurels

This year’s Traitor Ash proved to be one of the worst the game’s ever seen. I think she just played it too safe. She got chosen as a Traitor but had no game plan and just generally nothing to bring to the Traitors Turret in terms of treachery. This meant that Harry and Paul actively sought her to go rather than just backstabbing when the tide changed towards her at banishment.

Prove useful. Prove clever. If Ar Claud taps you on your shoulder, get scheming ASAP.

5. Get confident, play wise – DON’T get cocky

The Traitors guide

I have seen the wisest men of my generation betrayed by cockiness. Look at Paul. Potentially, look at Harry. Paul attacked being a Traitor with insane confidence and self important appointment as unofficial head Traitor and it all caught up with him in the end. Back your game plan but don’t foolishly think you’re untouchable.

6. Don’t panic

Andrew is the perfect example of a PANICKED Traitor. He didn’t want to be one, and because of that he’s been awful at rising to the challenge. He’s one sweaty forehead away from giving the game away at any second. His nerves are shot. If you’re chosen to be a Traitor, just have a brew and rise up to it. Stop. Flapping.

7. No vengeance quests

The Traitors guide

Twitter cried out in support for Ross declaring he was going to avenge his mother, and fan favourite, Diane’s “death” – and I understand from a telly perspective that’s quite a euphoric notion. In terms of gameplay, it’s shocking. Shocking. He instantly looked dodgy to the Traitors who recruited him and suspicious in his behaviour changes to the group. Nice idea, awful logic. Just try and stay in favour and do what your told if you want to win some money and you’re recruited late in the game.

8. Don’t backstab at a moment’s notice!!!!!

This is probably the most important point of this guide: If there’s been one flaw with the Traitors of season two more than any other it’s been that they’ve all been obsessed with backstabbing. Most of the banished Traitors have been banished by other Traitors. This is just insane – it’s like in their quest either to not look suspicious or to win the money for themselves the Traitors of season two have become obsessed with paranoia and self destruction.

A bit of teamwork guys, and you’ve won it. If the season three Traitors take one thing from this guide it’s that the traitor team is crying out for a crumb of working together as a team. They’re almost a majority now and there’s no union. If the Traitors of this season just worked together they could overpower useless Faithfuls. A bit of backstabbing when there’s no other option is viable and wise – doing it willy nilly is simply silly.

The Traitors UK season two is available on BBC iPlayer now. For more like this ode to Paul from The Traitors and for reality TV and entertainment news, like Pop Culture Shrine on Facebook.