Ranking all the men from MAFS UK 2022 by who I’d least like to end up married to
What’s that smell? The faint aroma of divorce
My friends have observed my recent obsession with the 2022 season of Married at First Sight UK with bemused caution, and you know what? Fair enough. My sister asked me who I like in the season, and I thought it was funny that for a season I’ve been in such a firm chokehold with the answer is I don’t really like anyone! The men of MAFS UK 2022, quite frankly, are cursed. If I was demanded to marry any of these chaps at first sight, I would not have a very high chance of entering marital bliss.
So, without further ado, here’s all the men of MAFS UK 2022 ranked by who I’d least like to be married to.
For obvious reasons, I do not want to be married to this man.
No man will ever laugh whilst I tell my tales! And no man will ever take me to a park bench other than his house. Kasia is a better woman than me because if I was married to Kwame and he did that on homestays week I would turn on my heel and leave there and then. Absolutely useless fella, and considering he said in that CURSED clip that he wasn’t there for “foolishness”, all he did was act foolish for two months. No ta!
If there is one thing I hate, it’s people who give gym tips and hints uninvited or unasked. When I started going to the gym, I used to live in fear that some beefcake man would barge over and tap me and try and give me advice – and make my imposter syndrome there even more severe.
If Jonathan did what he did to Sophie and tell me he doesn’t want me to gain weight or muscle in certain ways I’d spiral into the most self conscious mess imaginable – and this is not really a mindset I see myself thriving in for my married life.
I think it speaks volumes about what’s come before him that someone as cursed as Matt has managed to not come rock bottom. In the words of the immortal Kim Woodburn: ADULTERER.
Literally old enough to be my dad and a bit of a sap (sorry), but with this bunch that’s about as much as you can hope for.
An agent of pure reality TV chaos that I think we should all thank for weeks of iconic one liners and great mayhem. But would I like to be married to him? Absolutely not. However, Tom has Liverpool in his favour. I love Liverpool with all my heart and soul, and a marriage to him would get me back living there. Plus, his parents are iconic and I’d get to have a bevvy with them. It’s the little wins.
I do not know or remember a single thing about this man, and when it comes to this cast that is enough to get you to fourth place. Congrats!
Soooo cringe! Too cringe! When he told Whitney that one thing he didn’t like how long she took to get ready all jokey I genuinely could not be arsed. But he is quite good looking and not a total villain, and beggars can not be choosers.
Arguably the nicest and sexiest man on Married at First Sight UK is Jordan, so he comes in at a reasonable second place. I could think of many, many men in the world who would be significantly less eligible a bachelor.
You know what? I think me and Adrian would have a lovely marriage. And I can’t believe I’m typing that after spending the last 500 words telling you how dismal the options are here. He’s calm, he’s kind, he dresses well and he’s northern. Honestly, Adrian, if you see this and you’ve divorced Thomas… DMs are well and truly open.
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