An ode to Faye Winter: The Love Island villa’s resident gay icon and hun in the making
I need to make friends with her in a gay club smoking area NOW
Faye Winter I owe you an apology. I am so sorry. I misjudged you, and for that I will never know peace. When you first walked into that villa and I hurriedly made up my first impressions based off a glare you gave to Brad over his profession. I wrote you off as pure evil and I thought I was going to spend this Love Island 2021 thinking god, that Faye Winter is my nemesis. But you aren’t my nemesis, Faye. You’re my spirit animal.
Since I have had to come to accept that queer people have no place on Love Island after producers publicly stated that an LGBTQ+ presence would be “logistically difficult”, seemingly forgetting the time when they cast exclusively bi women for the benefit of the straight male gaze, I will settle for the next best thing. And in this case, the next best thing is Faye: the epitome of a gay man thriving in a blonde bombshell and an icon who is @loveofhuns to the core.
When she filed her nails on the terrace, a star was born
The image of Faye sat unbothered on the terrace aimlessly filing her already perfectly manicured nails is one that I will take to my grave. I will literally be on my death bed and be two minutes away from taking my final gasp of air in this life and then remember her doing her nails as AJ strolled in and howl. I will laugh my way to the afterlife, and that’s on Faye.
I will never not enjoy people pretending not to be bothered when they couldn’t look more bothered if they tried. Her attempt to look nonchalant was so cliché and on the nose that it looked camp right in the eye.
Her quotes are timeless and should be studied in English Literature classes
When she described her failed lip fillers as an “80-year-old man’s ball sack” my jaw was on the ground. When she said she was “as edgy as a circle” my smile was wider than the Thames. But peak Faye Winter: Poet Laureate was when she said “The type of person I’m looking for is someone who can literally rip me a new arsehole… No, not like that!”
That is a line that comedy writers in script rooms up and down this country would sell their kidney to come up with. She’s the greatest wordsmith of our generation I fear.
When she’s fuming she slags people off just loud enough so they’re in earshot and she can have an argument
This is Faye’s finest modus operandi. She’s done it with Chloe, she’s done it with Toby, she’s done it with Teddy. It never gets old! I love that she always resolves it with a hug after, but in the moment Hurricane Faye Winter is Love Island 2021’s most formidable natural disaster.
She’s not exactly been the sex icon of the villa that all the lads have fought over, but the moments she’s produced have been the finest reality tv has to offer. I can’t help but imagine how perfect she’d have been on Big Brother in its hey day – IMAGINE the arguments. She’d have been an absolute legend.
She took her bracelets off to give a quieter handjob and I am obsessed
Is this not just the most glam and daft thing you’ve ever heard? I love the visual of her going to have a play with Teddy’s rod and then being like oh hang on a minute, let me take my glamour off. A relatable and open queen!
Faye please big me up in the smoking area of a club I beg you
The way she welcomed Georgia with open arms and made a beeline to be besties? She is good vibes. She’s everything I miss about that mate you befriend in the toilets of a club or sharing a ciggy in some dirty smoking area. She tells you how stunning you are and that you’re going to pull because you’re the sexiest person in the venue. She’s THAT girl. She’s also the girl who throws hands when someone slightly barges past you. Get you a girl that can do both!!!
But most of all, I love Faye because she’s everything Love Island should be about. She’s there for a good time, she’s not fake and she’s upfront with her feelings. She’s gorgeous and glam, but not unrelatable and doesn’t feel like we’re watching some unattainable goddess who we could never be mates with in real life. She’s carrying the season’s funniest moments with ease, and whilst I cherish Kaz and adore Liberty, it’s Faye Winter who I’d be slagging everyone off at the Love Island afterparty with. And I’d have it no other way.
Love Island 2021 continues on ITV2 at 9pm tonight. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.