17 thoughts I had watching Netflix’s bizarre Eurovision movie, The Story of Fire Saga

Netflix has just released its new movie, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. And let’s get one thing straight: It’s nuts.

The film is as unhinged as they come, but I’d go as far as to saying it’s just as good, if not better, than sitting down and watching the Eurovision Song Contest as it would have been. Both are equally as crazy and make you question the world.

Here are all the weird thoughts that will ~almost definitely~ go through your mind as you sit and watch Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga on Netflix.

1. Firstly, let’s address those ACCENTS

I can’t concentrate until I get used to Rachel McAdams and Will Ferrell attempting Icelandic accents. The worst is by far Pierce Brosnan’s, but dear lord, it is VERY distracting.

2. This, just this

From the outset, I am uncomfortable. I don’t know how I feel after seeing this. Haunting.

3. The casting of Rachel McAdams seems strange, but I’m here for it

Rachel McAdams, who will forever be Regina George or Allie in the Notebook, playing a singing Icelandic woman in a slapstick comedy seems like odd casting and one you definitely have to get your head around.

4. Demi Lovato pops in for a while, but then she blows up

It was such a pleasant surprise to see Demi Lovato belting out a tune for Iceland, but within literally a couple of minutes she’s blown up and her burning arm lands on the floor in front of Sigrit and Lars. Was this really necessary Netflix, was it?

5. Sigrit believes in elves, and leaves them little offerings

Watching her, and her half-baked accent, crouched down next to three little elf houses leaving them whisky and thanking them for getting Fire Saga into the Eurovision Song Contest is a weird flex, to say the least.

5. The Edinburgh park scene was like a strange Christmas movie snippet

Watching Sigrit and Lars segway up the hills of Edinburgh into a park and watch a busker whilst everyone is wrapped up in a hats and scarfs really felt like I’d paused this film and put on a Hallmark classic.

6. Everyone hating the UK is probably the most factually accurate part of this entire film

When Alexander said the UK entry was actually good, but everyone hates the UK so she’ll get zero points, I felt that.

I also think it needs to be said that Edinburgh being the host city is low key the biggest kick in the teeth of the whole film. It’s wildly inaccurate, as this would suggest the UK actually doing well in the Eurovision Song Contest, or for some other reason being chosen to host. Never going to happen, don’t rub it in.

7. THE SING-ALONG WAS THE WILDEST MINUTE OF MY WHOLE LIFE

THE EUROVISION CAMEOS ARE WILD. This entire scene felt like it was fresh from a Disney Channel film and to be honest, I am living for it. I can actually see this being the intro video for the next Eurovision. Iconic.

8. The whole ‘sex nuts’ scene was fuel for thought

 

I’m not really sure why this happened, but it felt like it was important character progression when Sigrit and Lars just lost the plot screaming that they were going “sex nuts” and were going to shag everyone in the studio.

I really felt like they became relatable after this point, like maybe they’re stuck in this pandemic too. Let it out you guys, let it out.

9. Ok now we’re seeing dead Demi Lovato, sure?

A strange addition. I think I could have lived my life without seeing this. Let’s leave that there.

10. Graham Norton pops in and now the film feels so real it hurts

When it gets proper into the Eurovision parts of the film, Graham Norton is there providing his voice over, of course. No word of a lie, you forget this is a film and actually think you’re sat there watching Graham rip into bizarre acts performing their crazy songs. Was Eurovision really cancelled this year? Or am I just watching it now?

11. Watching them perform Double Trouble has actually made me want to download it?!

It’s a bop. I said what I said.

12. Sigrit being constantly double parked is honestly a movement

I love how they made a conscious effort to make sure Sigrit always has two drinks in her hands at all times. We are all a bit of Sigrit.

 13. In general, Lars is just a massive dick

You can’t help but go from not really caring for, to objectively hating Lars throughout this entire film. He’s selfish, treats Sigrit like shit and is a bit of a spoilt brat. He won’t have anything not be the way he wants it, and is literally the reason their first performance goes up in flames – he changed the scarf last minute and Sigrit just didn’t say anything!!! Someone call him out, please!!!

14. WHY DID THIS GUY HAVE TO STRANGLE LARS AND THEN WHY DID HE DIE???!!

This scene did not fit the slapstick theme of this film. What is happening here?! This scene was actually… shocking?! And to top it off, it was the fucking elves. OF COURSE it was those elves.

15. The car scene was the most melodramatic and absurdly wild thing I’ve possibly ever seen

The subtitles for this scene would have been something along the lines of: “Russian music intensifies as Will Ferrell is in an intense car chase through the streets of Edinburgh.” All in a green mini. Think about that. And after all he’s done, I low key didn’t even want him to make it.

16. Russia. Deserved. More.

A statement I never thought I would say, but Alexander from Russia honestly deserved so much more. He was clearly gay, but was nothing but nice and encouraging to Sigrit, and she still chose big ol’ shit head Lars. For the entire movie I was waiting for Alexander to have some sort of motive, but he was actually just an angel. The world is not fair.

17. The ending is possibly the most wholesome thing

Still angry it’s not Alexander but sure, the ending for Fire Saga in the Netflix film was at least quite happy. When they came out on the stage with a baby, the Americans in the audience, and even Lars’ dad looking happy you cried, didn’t you?

*Plays Jaja Ding Dong on repeat*

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook. 

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