The feminist ‘call out’ society we live in has gone too far

Recently, I was told that because I was wearing makeup, I was perpetuating the sexualization of women and adding to the patriarchy. As a firm believer in feminism, I found this rather confusing – why, if feminism is about equality and women being able to chose what they want to do, rather than have someone tell us, was I being told not to wear makeup? I have since come to the conclusion, after several rants to my friends and mother, that social movements have no become so hateful and so aggressive that we are losing the essence of what they are really about: equality and choice. Now let me be clear, this does not apply to people who have racist and sexist opinions. If someone is shouting at you and telling you that you are racist, then this article does not apply to you. This article is about girls who are trying to develop their own voice when discussing issues that apply to them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not following the line of thought that calls all feminists “feminazis” because, trust me, I hate that word and think everyone who says it is annoying, I just think that there really is no need for everyone to be constantly dragging everyone. It’s one thing to have a healthy debate about whether makeup is feminist: it’s entirely another to yell at a random girl that she shouldn’t be wearing makeup and that she’s committing a crime against her sex.

A great example of this, and if you ever want to see a live action is example, is posting any kind of opinion online. Within, a few moments you will receive thousands of replies saying how you are wrong in every way possible. The thing is, I don’t understand why people feel the need to get so aggressive. Surely, you did not pop out of the womb, spouting fully thought out progressive, well-crafted thoughts? Surely you had to go through a learning curve where you developed your ideas? Aggression doesn’t really bring people to the cause your trying promoting. It’s so awkward, and annoying when people feel like they can’t have open discussions about different opinions and views they have on things, if you will simply scream in them.

Recently, this happened to me and it really opened my eyes to the way I talk to people about causes I’m passionate about. After asking me why I was wearing so much makeup, a question that baffled me really, she proceeded to tell me that I couldn’t be feminist and wear winged eyeliner. I mean, it struck me as rather ironic, that she had so much internalized misogyny that she felt the need to drag someone down because I really, really enjoy contouring my face. Forcing your own internal issues with other girls, onto other girls – whether online or in real life – does not make me want to support your opinions and views: it merely makes me want to make my eyeliner bolder. Really, it says more about you than it does about them. If you are that aggressive about feminism, socialism or anything else then, you don’t promote your cause. You alienate people. Why, would someone want to promote something, if every time they express an opinion about something, you degrade them and belittle them.

It’s not fair to people who are simply trying to develop their own voice, for you to scream that they are not extreme enough. Just because someone’s version of feminism does not fit exactly with yours, does not give you the damn right to scream at me and tell me that I’m wrong.