Ranked: Every Durham college mascot, based entirely on its vibes and accuracy

Some of them are definitely more accurate than others…

30 minutes ago

Millie Barter | Guides

Whether you love them or find them oddly creepy, the Durham college mascots are an important part of each college’s identity.

However, there are some wacky personalities that get pulled out of the costume box when it comes to Freshers’ Week and open days. You might not even know what kind of creature’s going to be facing you on your first day. So what better way to honour this eclectic mix than to rank each of the Durham college mascots from least to most accurate?

17. Castle: No mascot

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No mascot in Durham’s most well-known college. Do better, guys.

16. St. John’s: Olav III the alligator

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I’m so confused. The name Olav supposedly has some links to a royal visit, but an alligator is a peculiar choice. John’s get points purely for Olav’s extravagant name.

15. St. Cuthbert’s: Tiger

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The Cuth’s tiger will forever remain a mystery to me. Considering the college drinks are frog inspired, there’s no consistency, which is toad-ally disappointing. I imagine the JCR panicked when they realised frogs aren’t exactly inspiring and chose the exact opposite animal to represent them. The tiger doesn’t even have a name!

14. Hatfield: Timba the lion

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I can only guess that Timba the lion represents the king of the jungle mentality adopted by Hatfield students as they prowl about the Bailey. However, I’d probably say that a well-groomed poodle is a more fitting choice for Hatfield.

13. Trevelyan: Trevor the donkey

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Trevs, where to begin? While I love the name Trevor, it’s been given to the wrong kind of animal. Do they want to put a weird spin on horse girl vibes, or embrace the fact that their accommodation looks like some kind of hexagonal stable? I feel bad for poor old Trevor.

12. St. Mary’s: Maurice the meerkat

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Bit of an odd choice, and I can’t picture a meerkat completing a Mary’s mile. Their open day presence is pretty good though, and I appreciate the college name being incorporated here almost as much as I do with Trevor.

11. St. Chad’s: Gary the goat

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Chad’s students are obsessed with goats, and it’s honestly a bit bah-ffling. I appreciate that they’ve stuck to the goat motif, unlike other colleges who’ve blended different animals in the college’s overall aesthetic (Cuth’s, cough cough).

Despite this, due to personal biases (Hill supremacy), I wouldn’t label St. Chad’s as the GOAT (even if its bar is top quality).

10. Ustinov: Peter the platypus

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Honestly, I had to Google what a platypus was…maybe a bit too postgrad for my feeble undergrad mind. Editor’s note: You guys would make it to the top of this list if you slapped a fedora on that thing. Rename him Perry the Ustinov mascot?

9. Josephine Butler: Joe the mole

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Joe the mole is one of the cutest college mascots. His little face and his big personality just make me want to cry. I’m a bit confused as to why their mascot is a mole, but it might have something to do with the mound that’s outside Jobo for no apparent reason, a seemingly perfect home for a mole. Joe gets cuteness favouritism in any case.

8. South: Oswald the owl

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South worships Oswald, and on many an open day the intricate wooden carving is spoken very highly of. I admire South’s dedication to its mascot, and its college is certainly a hoot. However, the stereotype of an owl as old, is inapplicable to South: As the youngest college in Durham, it’s probably more like just-hatched chicks.

7. Grey: Felix the phoenix

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What screams college pride more than an impressive mythical creature? Let’s face it, the climb that Grey students face up the hill to their accommodation is like the endurance that the phoenix has as it rises from the ashes. Grey just gets bonus points because a phoenix is too cool.

6. Stephenson College: George the dragon

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Like Grey, you can’t really go wrong with a mythical creature as your college mascot, and a dragon is an epic choice. Dragons are often associated with faraway lands, which is applicable to Stevo’s students, who live in their own faraway land (the top of the hill). Plus I sense a fire/steam/steam engine connection here.

5. St. Aidan’s: Billie the badger

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The badger is a rogue animal. However, we ought to give Billie and the college more of a chance. Not everything is black and white, guys. End the badgering of Aidan’s! They already have those stairs to deal with.

4. Collingwood: Colin the stag

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A perfect choice for a college obsessed with all things stag, Colin is a valued member of the Collingwood community. He looks like he could easily take on a university-level sport, and I would believe he’s a member of Team Durham. Plus The Stag’s Head has to be one of the best names for a college bar. Perfect place for a stag do if you ask me.

3. John Snow: Snowy the snow leopard

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The name “Snowy” is obviously accurate for Snow’s mascot, and he fits the college aesthetic well. Snow students are like leopards, because they know how to survive the snow-verwhelmingly harsh conditions (such as the walk from their college to Elvet Riverside). Snow leopards look like they’d enjoy the finer things, such as an ensuite room and a double bed.

2. Hild Bede: Bedo Bear

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Bedo’s name scares me. I feel like he hides away in that imaginary college, waiting at any moment to jump out and scare you. Can’t bear this feeling (I’m sorry, I promise I’ll stop now).

1. Van Mildert: Van and Milly the ducks

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Like Mildert students, Van and Milly are extremely friendly, and probably obsessed with all things ponds. Jokes aside, Van and Millie are arguably the most suitable and on-theme college mascots in Durham, and there are two of them, which makes it even better. I absolutely love how their names are parallel to the college’s name, and they therefore get an outstanding quack-uracy placement.

Featured image via Instagram @vanmildertcollege @trevelyancollege @greycollegedurham