We can guess your university degree course (Glasjoke edition)

If you’re a uni student in Glasgow, you’ve probably encountered Glasjoke. The page that bravely answers the question “what if group chats were public, anonymous, and somehow worse?”

From screenshots that feel illegally private to confessions that absolutely should have stayed drafts, Glasjokes participants are a very specific demographic. And while we may not know their names, faces, or flat addresses (thankfully), we do think we can guess one thing about them with alarming accuracy: their degrees.

This article is not scientific. It is not kind. It is based entirely on vibes.

The one posting relationship drama at 3.47am

Degree: Law

No one writes like this unless they’ve been trained to argue. Excessive detail, a strong sense of moral injustice, and a desperate need for validation from strangers. The post will end with something like “am I overreacting?” (they are not asking).

Bonus points if they casually mention contracts, tenancy issues, or that their flatmate is “technically in breach.” They are in law. They are exhausted. They will be a solicitor one day and we are all afraid.

The ‘is it weird if I…’ confession

Degree: Psychology

Every Glasjoke post that reads like a pre-diagnosis questionnaire is written by a psychology student. Hyper-aware of their own thoughts, wildly unaware of social norms.

They’ve Googled their symptoms. They’ve self-analysed the situation. They are asking strangers online because their lecturer once said “social validation is important.” It shows.

The politically charged rant that no one asked for

Degree: Politics/international relations

This participant didn’t come here for jokes. They came to educate. Expect phrases like “structural issue,” “late-stage capitalism,” or “this is actually quite dangerous rhetoric”—usually in response to a post about flatmate dishes.

They will reply to comments correcting people. They will not log off.

Ps, cheers to this one guy for not having anything bad to say about The Glasgow Tab, we love you too bro xx

The one who thinks they’re being hilarious

Degree: English literature

Long post. Overwritten. Thinks irony will save them. It won’t.

They’ll structure it like a short story, include unnecessary metaphors, and end with a punchline that only works in their head. They’ve definitely used Glasjoke “for research.” They are absolutely writing a novel (or at least fanfic).

The ‘I don’t know anyone on my course’ post

Degree: Computer science

This student has not spoken to another human since week two. Their timetable is chaos. Their labs are silent. They don’t understand why group chats are optional but also essential.

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They will mention being behind. They are not behind. They are just stressed.

The flatmate-from-hell essay

Degree: Sociology

This post will somehow connect mould, unpaid bills, and a stolen pan to a wider commentary on social inequality. It’s compelling. It’s long. It makes you nod even though you didn’t ask.

They’ve read theory. They are applying it to their kitchen.

The ‘I hate my degree but it’s fine’ submission

Degree: Business

They are miserable but pragmatic. They will mention employability. They will not mention joy.

They chose the degree because it “made sense.” They now spend their time watching everyone else complain while quietly panicking about internships.

The one who should not be posting this online

Degree: Medicine

You know the post. You read it. You felt slightly ill.

They think anonymising makes it okay. It does not. Please log off. Please revise.

The “why is everyone so dramatic?” commenter.

The most unhinged disturbing humour you’ve ever heard

Degree: Engineering

These guys come out with the most outrageous comments and don’t even blink. You’ve just heard the most deeply unsettling story that will have you laughing for the next two weeks. This is just another Tuesday for them.

Please can the lot of yous touch some grass and get mentally well again x

Final thoughts

Glasjokes is less an Instagram page and more a cross-section of the Glasgow student body at its most vulnerable, dramatic, and online. Are these guesses accurate? Possibly. Are they fair? Absolutely not. But that’s half the fun.

If you’re reading this and thinking “wait, that’s literally me” — congratulations! You’ve been perceived.

And if you’re about to submit to Glasjoke after reading this?

Just know: We already know your degree.