Attention fourth floor warriors: This is what your Edinburgh University study spot says about you

 4th floor, main library

You are not here to work, but to be perceived. Your laptop is open, but untouched. Your notes are pristine because they do not exist and you have put significantly more thought into your outfit than into whatever assignment you’re ‘doing’. This is a social event disguised as an academic effort, and you will spend more time running into people you know than actually sitting down.

3rd floor, main library (biased take)

You migrated here from the 4th floor after realising, a couple of semesters in, that getting anything done up there is impossible. You still want atmosphere, just without the constant chatter and performative males. Productivity happens here, but only because mild stress forces it. This is the floor of compromise, where people convince themselves they finally have their life together.

Prime spot for squirell watching

2nd floor, main library

This floor belongs to older years, or those who feel like them. Silence is non-negotiable, and even the smallest disturbance, such as breathing too loudly or slight movement deserves a glare. You take studying seriously and expect everyone else to do the same, and you are secretly one pen click away from snapping.

1st floor, main library

I do not know anyone who studies here. If you do, I’m not convinced you’re real. You exist outside the social ecosystem of the university. No one has ever said “let’s meet on the 1st floor,” and yet, people are there (allegedly).

Basement, main library

You may as well be Edward Cullen. You hate sunlight and probably yourself. That’s all.

Study hub

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Either you didn’t get a seat in the main library or you actively enjoy hypothermia. There is no in-between. Wrapped in a coat with numb fingers, you question your life choices while still somehow getting work done. Resilient, adaptable, and mildly suffering.

The only good thing about this place is the view outside

40 George Square (40GS)

This is the 4th floor in a different location. Studying comes second to socialising here, making it more of a meet-up point disguised as academic intention. It’s giving ‘coffee and study date’, except the studying never quite materialises. You sit down with the idea of working, talk for an hour, get another coffee, and leave having achieved nothing except maintaining your social life.

Locked in central

King’s buildings

STEM baddies. Your timetable has almost certainly shafted you, trapping you with hours between lectures you didn’t choose. As a result, you’ve set up base camp in one of the thousand indistinguishable buildings. During exam season, you crave peace and understand that escaping main campus is the only way to find it. Tired, efficient, and quietly superior for knowing this. Clever.

Futures Institute

Impressive, honestly. Finding a quiet, decent place to study in this building requires a different level of commitment. Either you’re actively avoiding the main library, or you’re there purely for the café (fair). If neither applies, your headphones must be doing industrial-level noise cancelling. Possibly all three.

Old College

Atmosphere brought you here. You want to look mysterious, academic, and vaguely intimidating, and you chose the correct setting. Sitting by a window, you pretend to read something difficult while tourists assume you’re far more intelligent than you feel. Whether much work actually gets done doesn’t matter. You committed to the aesthetic, and it suits you.