Here’s how each Lancs college would enter a Ticketmaster war

We have all entered the warzone that is the Ticketmaster queue for tickets to our favourite artist’s concert. 

With the recent battles for Bruno Mars and Harry Styles, we thought we’d look at how each Lancaster Uni college would handle itself while trying to get concert tickets.

Bowland College – Pre-sale Warriors

The main characters, in the hub of it all (a little basic at times), you guys definitely come prepared. You’ve bought the merch for the pre-sale tickets, you have energy drinks and snacks prepared, you have multiple devices up and ready to go – at least two laptops, a tablet and a phone – sweatbands are on, and you’ve joined the waiting room well in advance.

You guys are taking no chances. You’re getting those VIP front row tickets before anyone else. And yet, 80 per cent of the time you fail miserably, and all that prep was for nothing….

County Main College – Re-Sale Soldiers 

County people, you can’t deal with the fuss and drama of Ticketmaster. Too many people, too much hassle and time – you’d rather sit back and observe and then head to the post Ticketmaster sales. You don’t mind where you are or paying a little extra, at least you’re there. Plus, it saves you a heart attack. 

Furness – Underdogs 

Furness students, you don’t really care if you do or don’t get tickets, but you like to give it a go for fun. You’ve joined the waiting room a minute before the sale begins, you’ve got one device (probably your phone), and you’re on 4G data on the bus.

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Unbelievably, you somehow get through the queue in minutes and bag the best seats in the stadium and have the funds to do so. Annoying but funny thing is, you weren’t even trying!

Grizedale College – Tickets for friends 

Grizedale members, you kind and brave souls, are going into the ticket battle not only for yourselves but for your friends, too. You’re not as prepared as Bowland, but you did make sure you got the pre-sale code.

You guys are on the front lines with your crew behind you; all the pressure is on you to get the tickets everyone wants or to get seats next to each other. Even if you do get them, the celebrating can’t begin until you’ve been paid back… and we don’t think that’ll be for a while.

Fylde College – False hope victims

Unfortunately Fylde, you have the confidence and sometimes the cockiness when it comes to the Tickemaster queue, you make it through, pass the waiting room and the long queue time.

You find the perfect seats, and you get so excited that you’ve managed to get hold of them – you add to the basket, still heart racing and adrenaline pumping, knowing you’ve bagged the exact seats you wanted…then just as you click “confirm” and you’re met with: “Sorry, these tickets are no longer available.”

Emotionally, Fydle students don’t recover after this. Don’t mention the words, concert or tickets for at least a week

Pendle College – Bitter supporter

Pendle, you guys tried. You really tried to get tickets, you didn’t even care if you were standing or in the cheapest seats right at the top of the stadium. You just needed to be there. However, Ticketmaster had other plans for you.

You didn’t manage to get tickets, you completely forgot when the tickets went on sale and unfortunately kissed your chance. You watch videos online of the concert afterwards and see your friends’ posts, saying that you’re happy for them through gritted teeth. We’ve all been there, Pendle… It’s just like watching the 100 bus drive away as you were running for it. Maybe next time?

Lonsdale College – Group chat commander

Lonsdale students, we know you guys have an edge on you. We get innocent and quiet vibes, but when it comes to entering the Ticketmaster warzone, you don’t mess around.

You’re on the groupchat with your friends, family, whoever else wants tickets, and you’re tapping into your inner general commander, issuing military-level instructions. Some classic catchphrases here include: “WHO’S IN THE QUEUE?”, “DON’T CLICK BACK.” and “USE DATA, NOT WIFI.” However, all these commands don’t do much, and no one listens.

Cartmel College – Post-war meme poster

Via YouTube

Opposite ends to County Main, you guys do care if you don’t get tickets, and you’re not quiet about it either. You tried your hardest in the queue; some of you even did the pre-sale shenanigans, but with no avail, you lost this Ticketmaster war this time round.

So instead of keeping it to yourself and pretending to be supportive like Pendle, you jump immediately to making endless memes about not getting tickets. Your therapy here is through humour; memes are the only way to recover for you, Cartmel.

Graduate College – The refresher

Sorry guys, but because you’re the eldest on campus, you are definitely the refreshers when it comes to going into the Ticketmaster battle. You’re in the queue, and you are just constantly hitting refresh every 30 seconds, and you’re convinced it helps.

We hate to break it to you, but that refresh does nothing during the Ticketmaster queue and doesn’t help you win the ticket war. Then you guys hit the refresh one too many times and accidentally refresh yourselves out of the booking page. We can hear those quiet screams of annoyance, Graduate.

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