Your Durham college, your British chocolate bar

We all have that one classic chocolate bar we reach for, and the ones we adamantly avoid. Like the Durham colleges some are inherently loveable classics, whilst others take a much more refined and unique taste bud to enjoy.

Hatfield – Yorkie

It’s giving “no girls allowed,” mirroring the chocolate bar’s infamous slogan. Like a Yorkie bar, if you’re not part of the Hatfield demographic (loud, posh, rugby boy) you’re sure to stay away.

St. John’s – Milky Way

John’s primary school innocent energy perfectly suits the chocolate bar every kid (and nostalgic adult…) shamelessly reaches for in a box of celebrations. After all, what better bar for the college that bleeds blue!

St. Cuth’s – Freddo

With college drinks called the tadpole, frog, and toad, it’s right to assume Cuth’s students would be frogs if they could. With the inflation of Freddos, they have easily become fitting for Bailey status.

Castle – Galaxy

Castle students love the classic and luxurious vibes so much they live in an actual castle. What better bar to capture their desire for timeless grandness than a Galaxy bar? Just like Castle, Galaxy would be a lot of peoples first picks.

St. Chad’s – Galaxy Caramel

Like Castle students, those at Chad’s love tradition so much they’ll share a room just to get a spot in the prettiest college on the Bailey. But like a Galaxy Caramel, it’s not the original and we know if they could they’d be in Castle.

Hild Bede – Cadbury Marvellous Creations

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Neither Hild Bede nor Cadbury Marvelous Creations conform to traditional structures. Cadbury Marvellous Creations is a chocolate bar like no other, like Hild Bede, the college which is the odd one out, fitting neither Bailey or Hill status.

Ustinov – Cadbury Fruit and Nut

Like a Cadbury Fruit and Nut, Ustinov has, lets say, a more grown up feel to it. The only mature college on campus perfectly matches the most serious and refined chocolate bar.

Collingwood – Mars Bar

The classically sporty college, with more sports teams than I can count, screams Mars Bar. A quick on-the-go energy boost perfect for Collingwood students, who are undoubtably balancing multiple sports alongside their degrees.

Grey – Wispa

“Grey by nature grey by name” is a phrase arguably repeated too much throughout Durham. Grey, whilst not as bad as people suggest, doesn’t have an exciting and flashy personality like other colleges, making an average milk chocolate perfect for an average college.

St. Mary’s – Cadbury Dairy Milk

Mary’s is often said It should belong on the Bailey not the Hill, it’s traditional and picturesque vibe matches the simpleness of a classic Cadbury Diary Milk. The bar has a comforting and old school feel to it, just like Mary’s.

Trevelyan –  Toblerone (honorary mention)

Yes, a Toblerone is Swiss and does not fit the point of this article. But like Trevs, does its corresponding chocolate bar really need to fit in? Toblerone is the only chocolate bar that can accurately match Trevs and its thing for weird shapes.

St. Aidan’s – Double Decker

Aidan’s, with its massive hill and thousands of stairs, has to be a chocolate bars with layers, like a Double Decker. I’ve never met anyone from Aidans who ranked it first, like I’ve never met anyone that would pick a Double Decker as their favourite chocolate.

Van Mildert –  Eclair

The chocolate your grandparents pick. Like Mildert, it has an old and kind of irrelevant nature. Like, when your elders offer you that Eclair, you accept it – sort of like those who have to accept unfortunately being placed in Mildert.

South – Twirl

Like the hollowness in a Twirl, there is just something missing from South. Sure it’s a perfectly acceptable chocolate bar (just like South people are fine), but it’s just missing its full potential – similar to Durham’s characterless newest college.

John Snow – KitKat

It feels like Snow is everywhere this year, which makes it seem fitting to place it as such a popular chocolate bar. After all, Snow students having to face South Road hill everyday could do with a good “have a break, have a KitKat.”

Josephine Butler –  Wispa Gold

Buter, whilst it’s got all the basics of a self-catered college, no longer holds its place as the most popular self-catered college and is slowly slipping into irrelevance. However, it still holds a bit of a wow factor (its great college bar), differentiating it from just a plain Wispa.

Stevenson – Chomp

Chomp is an understated and often forgotten bar. I regularly forget it exists, just like Stevo. It’s an effort to eat, which puts people off, just like the effort of finding Stevo. However, they’re both equally overlooked – a Chomp isn’t that bad once you try it and Stevo’s an alright college. They just take a little effort.

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