Mean tweets and transphobia: The online reaction to 2025’s I Kissed a Boy cast is despicable

Since ITV has never announced a change in its stance regarding how Love Island inclusion of LGBTQ+ people would be nothing more than a ‘logistical difficulty’, what a wonderful thing it’s been to see the last two seasons of BBC’s I Kissed a Boy and last year’s I Kissed a Girl become such a huge success. Both the inaugural lads and lasses seasons were unmissable TV for anyone in our community as far as I’m concerned – with both being a riotous mix of groundbreaking, moving and drama filled. The shows were the dating shows LGBTQ+ people have long deserved, and the success of both saw standout cast members like Dan Harry and Amy Spalding launch great careers off the back of it. This year, I Kissed a Boy returns – with new episodes dropping on Sunday. And whilst this should be such an exciting time in the lives of the cast of lads heading to the Italian masseria to find love, the online reaction to I Kissed a Boy 2025 has been nothing short of abhorrent.

From mean spirited tweets to some of the most appalling transphobia I have had the displeasure to read – you do not have to look very far on Twitter to see what makes that app utterly unusable today. Whilst I will go on to discuss what I’ve seen on there, I have chosen not to highlight anything or embed a post – in order to not extend its reach. I encourage you all to do the same and not engage with anything. It’s not worth it.

Completely mean spirited

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Picture how this must feel. You filmed a groundbreaking reality TV show back in September. You had to keep your inclusion in that show a secret for, when adding up auditioning and casting processes, about a full year. You can’t wait for the biggest broadcaster in the country to announce the cast to the world, with all your pictures and profile being out there. It’s all hype, it’s all excitement, and it’s potentially life changing.

Unlike its hetero counterpart dating shows, I Kissed a Boy / Girl doesn’t tend to cast influencers. Most of these queer people have little to no following online – around 1000 followers and live a normal life out of the spotlight. They’ve been thrust in the public sphere, and what do they get? Well, when it comes to this year’s cast of men, they have faced an onslaught of truly nasty behaviours.

From what I can remember, there was none of this during season one of I Kissed a Boy. And after last year’s joyous I Kissed a Girl feeling like nothing but a party – the reaction online to I Kissed a Boy last week was shocking. Tweets were going viral analysing the looks of the cast, with men debating who they would sleep with and who they wouldn’t. Debating the top / bottom preference of them all. It was incessant. I felt like I was wading through nastiness to find something positive.

Queer joy

Of course, I Kissed a Boy’s casting is not without criticism and it’s certainly not above it. The cast has minimal body type diversity – a far cry from season one which definitely represented a wider spectrum of gay men. All the ages of everyone are between 20-30, which understandably isolates the older queer demographic who perhaps feel like this show isn’t for them. I understand from a casting perspective this can be tricky, with age gaps and types – but I think the criticism here from those who feel left out is valid.

What I can’t fathom from the reaction to the I Kissed a Boy cast, though, is that the sentiment is “this is bad because I don’t want to sleep with any of them”. Quite a jarring approach to reality TV – I have never thought the quality of what makes a good series of reality telly has anything to do with how fit any of them are.

But where the show did do well this year is by casting a trans man in the mix, and despite this being a non issue – the reaction online to this is absolutely shameful.

The world is a scary place for LGBTQ+ people right now

This year, the BBC has cast a trans man in I Kissed a Boy. Thankfully, the reaction from anyone decent has been nothing but normal. I hope the cast member sees the love that many have shown him. However, in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling on trans rights last month – emboldening the side of Twitter you do everything in your power to avoid – it’s been harrowing seeing the pile on of hate that has bombarded nearly any tweet regarding the I Kissed a Boy cast with.

The sentiment is that these people, in their view, do not recognise this cast member as a man. I have seen countless tweets, some given a huge platform after being shared by a certain sitcom writer, claiming that the BBC is “encouraging rape by deception”, as well as “homosexual conversion therapy by rape”. When I saw these posts, I felt truly sick to my stomach. Such emotive language that has very real impact and affect on all of us, and to call the casting of a trans person any of those things is beyond my comprehension.

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I am a gay man, and if I kissed a trans man I would still be a gay man. Whether I knew he was trans beforehand or not – that would still stand. It absolutely blows my mind and hurts my heart that people think otherwise – and the disgust I feel for those who are so blinded with hatred that they think trans people are moving into our spaces with malicious intent is horrifying.

This trans man, who has stated in his posts previously that he always felt like a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, is no different to any other gay man in my eyes and the eyes of anyone I know. Good reasonable full hearted people, and I hope he’s enjoying his groundbreaking casting without this bothering too much.

After this group of people proudly boasted about how they sent off complaining emails to the BBC about the trans inclusion in the cast, a BBC spokesperson has said regarding the reaction “I Kissed a Boy is and always has been an inclusive dating show about finding love. All applicants are asked their dating preference and they are matched accordingly.” We can see from this that this cast, like me, and many other likeminded and thankfully tolerant members of this community would not be bothered at all by dating a trans man.

But I can’t help but think on how much both of these reactions upset me. As things clearly are getting harder for LGBTQ+ people in the UK, and Reform are winning elections and moving fast to ban any pride flags being flown in council buildings in addition to the Supreme Court ruling – we don’t even just have straight bigots on our back.

Instead this cast, who had the time of their lives filming this show, have to contend with people online dissecting their looks, their sexual position preference and transphobic abuse. From our own community. It’s horrible, it’s unfair and it’s regressive. At least last night, as the show premiered to press, the cast looked to be having the time of their lives celebrating the show that has probably altered their life.

It’s what they deserve, and when Sunday comes around if you stand for positive representation then you should be as seated as I will be.

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