Durham University college bars to close as they’re considered ‘inferior’ to Jimmy’s

Durham University has announced plans to shut down all college bars as they have been considered “inferior” to venues such as Jimmy Allen’s.

In a leaked email sent to university and college staff, management cited shifting student culture, financial pressures, and the overwhelming popularity of clubbing venues.

All college bars will close indefinitely at the end of this academic year.

The email email from university management confirmed that the historic bars, once a cornerstone of college life, will be permanently closed at the end of the academic year. It also acknowledged the role these bars have played in Durham’s collegiate system, which has been a defining part of the university since its founding in 1832. However, it argues that student lifestyle habits have changed, making these venues less relevant.

It read: “While college bars have been a significant part of Durham’s history, student culture has evolved. Combined with the ongoing cost of living crisis, these venues are no longer in demand.”

The decision also points to growing competition from student favourite bars and clubs, with one establishment standing out as a clear winner: Jimmy Allen’s. The email directly referenced the popularity of Jimmy’s in Durham, suggesting that college bars simply cannot keep up.

Despite the inevitable outcry from students, the decision was described as “permanent”, with the closure to take effect after final term finishes.

St. Cuthbert’s Bar

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One third year student, Bear Luvour, told The Durham Tab that the closure of college bars was “devastating” news. He added: “I used to spend whole weekends holed up in The Stag’s Head. I literally wouldn’t have any mates if it weren’t for that place, plus the bar staff have finally nailed how I like my shandy. Such a waste.”

But not all students shared the same sentiment. First year maths student, Vee Kay, said the decision wouldn’t really affect her. She told The Durham Tab: “I never even go to my college bar, it’s always full of weirdos who live in villages back home and wouldn’t recognise fun if it hit them in the face.”

Sadly, 2025 freshers will never get to experience Durham University college bars and it is yet unknown what will take their place.

Until then, expect an influx of nostalgic final year students squeezing in their last dingy college pint before being forced to queue for a VK at Jimmy’s like the rest of us.

You should probably check the date, you April fools!