Coventry University to implement 11pm curfew on all student house parties

Coventry University has issued a mandatory curfew for all students living in the city in order to tackle anti-social behaviour.

A leaked email sent to all staff revealed that at 11pm students hosting and attending house parties will be ordered to vacate the area, and keep noise to minimum after a “significant increase in the number of complaints” over the past few months.

The curfew will commence on 8th April, with police officers patrolling the popular student areas such as Earlsdon for stray students, or anyone engaging in disorderly conduct.

Offending students will be disciplined using the university’s procedures and could face a £200 fine or even suspension.

In the email, Coventry University said: “In recent weeks we have had a significant increase in the number of complaints received from residents regarding disturbances caused by student gatherings, particularly during late hours.”

It explained that it was “undeniable that students were responsible” for the anti-social behaviour and furthermore “the rowdiness and public disruption” due to excessive alcohol consumption had “a negative effect on local residents.”

“These measures are necessary to uphold the integrity of our community standard and to ensure that all students understand the seriousness of this issue.”

Despite the explicit ban on Coventry students, no comments were made regarding the status of Warwick students living in the area.

Understandably, many students were upset over the decision. Joe Kerr, a sports science undergrad, told The Coventry Tab: “The curfew is massively unfair. Hosting iconic house parties is literally my only personality trait. The university can’t do this to me, I’m going to have withdrawal symptoms.”

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Media student Liam Murphy and his housemates came up with a cunning plan to get around the curfew: “I don’t get how they’ll check we’re students. I’ve always been told I look older than I am, and half my friends look like they’re taking their GCSEs.

“We’re planning on pretending to be a family if anyone asks and just soundproofing whatever walls we can.”

Whereas, Aisling McCarthy, a local resident who has lived in Earlsdon all her life, was overjoyed by the news: “It’s only right a curfew is imposed on students. The next step should be shutting down the university entirely. No one in Coventry cares about the uni anyway. We all know Warwick is the best.”

You should probably check the date, you April fools!