Well, it’s over: How the lamest people on earth ruined our Brat summer

Please just let us make Brat cool again

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“Are you having a Brat summer?” Someone on TikTok asks a trio of middle aged divas, one of whom is in the perfect shade of Brat green. A wave of confusion washes over all three. The tallest woman then replies “Yes, a very bright summer.” To me, this is perfect. I really hate to gatekeep anything cool, but I fear we’re at the point where it’s a needs must. This TikTok is perfect to me because these are three people who should be blissfully unaware of what the term Brat summer means. They aren’t having a Brat Summer because they’ve got no clue what a Brat summer is. To quote High School Musical: “No, no, no – stick to the stuff you know / Don’t mess with the flow, stick to the status quo.” This was meant to be OUR Brat Summer – but as the lamest people on this earth continue to besmirch its good name, sorry Charli XCX – I’m afraid we’re going to have to consider Brat summer ruined.

@ly.as0

VERY bright summer @Charli XCX

♬ son original – lyas

 

I’m not going to explain what a Brat summer is for you, because if I have to do that then you’re part of the reason I’ve been pushed to write this in the first place. The people who Brat summer is for already knew what it was when Charli XCX dropped the album, and aren’t the reason for why it’s now ruined and in tatters. I would like to preface this going forward that I’ve been an in the trenches Charli XCX fan since True Romance. It brings me mind-blowing levels of joy and pride to see someone I love and cherish so much getting unprecedented pop culture impact, critical acclaim and releasing the best record of her career. I love seeing her vision come together and give her organic hits and the success she’s deserved since she started truly pioneering with the Vroom Vroom EP in 2016. However.

To echo Ruby here, it’s over. We are witnessing Christine Lampard filling in for the absent (shock) Lorraine Kelly doing a dismal version of the viral Apple dance. On daytime TV.

I saw this yesterday and couldn’t muster up the energy to talk about it til today, really. But now I’ve stopped eye-rolling I delved a bit deeper and watched the full segment. If you needed any more evidence on why Brat summer has been ruined by the lamest people on earth, just look at how the official Lorraine YouTube has spelt Charli XCX.

I just think people who are doing a nine minute segment on television about Charli XCX should probably try and get her name spelt right before they talk about it.

“Everyone is talking about Brat summer, Brat summer,” Christine says, sort of feigning enthusiasm. “Tell us what this is.” She then asks a younger fella on who says “Brat summer, it’s all been influenced by Charli XCX. She’s got a new album out called Brat. It’s essentially looking at the party girl life. It’s all about living your best life, doing it yourself and living your authentic self.” This is all made a bit more maddening by the fact they play clips of Charli performing Boom Clap in the background – her most mainstream hit from a decade ago that has nothing to do with Brat in the slightest.

“She’s also described it as being a trashy summer with a pack of cigs and a scrappy white top.” One of Christine’s other minions then says “It’s basically late 90s, early 00s, Christine!” and she gives it an “Ahh yes yes, it all comes back around again doesn’t it!” Err, no actually!

You don’t need me to mention the utter surreal nature of the entire Kamala Harris / Brat crossover, but you do need me to laugh with you how funny it is that all these politicians have jumped on the aesthetic and the Brat summer spirit seemingly unaware a crucial part of the entire vibe is doing a lot of coke.

Even people in music who should know better don’t have a clue. A playlist title Brat summer is up on Spotify. Does this playlist contain the best of Charli XCX – and showcase her collaborators? Maybe The Dare, some of George Daniels’ remixes, AG Cook? Of course not, it’s just a load of trending songs that mean nothing. Even bloody Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Murder on the Dancefloor is there for some godforsaken reason.

Herein lies the issue. Brat summer felt like a unifying thing between Charli XCX fans and people who just sort of get it – a rallying cry for an artist in her peak. But it’s become a meaningless expression – and that derision is what has ruined Brat summer – and only really Charli XCX can save that now.

There’s still time for the much whispered about remix album to save the summer yet.

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