All the bright red alarm-bell ringing flags the characters in House of the Dragon have

House of the Dragon is officially back for season two, and I have never been more ready for another instalment of Keeping Up With the Targaryens. It’s one of the most highly anticipated releases of the year, and for good reason: House of the Dragon has one of the most unhinged casts of characters on TV, each equipped with a unique set of red flags.

With the season ramping up each week, it’s impossible to predict how they’ll fare in the dance of dragons. This is a definitive ranking of the House of the Dragon characters and their main red flags.

Daemon

via HBO

It’s hard to know where to start with Daemon: Taking annual leave from his courtly duties just to gallivant to the Vale and murder his wife barely scratches the surface of his red flags, and it only gets worse when you realise his motivation was marrying his teenage niece. He’s a deadbeat dad to not only his second wife’s kids, but his sons with Rhaenyra – who also happen to be his great-nephews. He hired a murderer to kill his other nephew, and said murderer KICKED A DOG.

He’s unpredictable, violent, and unreasonably quick to anger – and the TikTok girlies are eating it up. Hot rodent summer is a curse.

Rhaenyra

via HBO

Rhaenyra might have made some dodgy decisions, but she’s a fan-favourite for a reason. Did her unsupervised child take out his cousin’s eye whilst she was snogging her uncle on the beach? Maybe. Did she gaslight her gay husband into faking his death? Perhaps.

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But she is the realm’s delight and the rightful heir for a reason, and she can do what she wants. Long live Rhaenyra the cruel!

Aegon

via HBO

If you can’t see Aegon’s red flags without my help, I’m worried about you. They’re pretty self-explanatory; even if you ignore usurping his half-sister’s throne, his pervy treatment of serving girls is enough to have me mass-producing Team Black merchandise.

Aemond

via HBO

Aemond’s main red flag is that he has the biggest dragon in Westeros, a badass eyepatch AND crazy sword skills, but he’s somehow still kind of a loser. Whilst the rest of his family give in to insanity, he’s in his quarters with a bottle of Olaplex Bonding Oil and a dream that one day he might escape from Daemon Targaryen’s shadow.

Alicent

via HBO

I honestly think Alicent’s main red flag is her inability to see other people’s red flags. Her children are menaces, her dad is a freak, her ex-situationship is in a love triangle with her gay cousin and her sociopath uncle. And most importantly, she’s choosing to spend time with CRISTON COLE, Founder of the Rhaenyra Hate-Club, world-class wimp and apparently, the newest edition to her bedchambers. She’s past saving.

Criston Cole

If Criston Cole had a dating profile, it would be littered with pictures of him downing pints and getting the badge in. His most listened artist would be Drake, and his bio would say something about F1 and Sunday Roasts. Yes, Criston Cole is violent and unbelievably irritating, but his main crime is being boring. That’s what two decades of pining over Rhaenyra will do to a person. Just ask Alicent.

For all the latest House of the Dragon news, drops, quizzes, and memes, like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook.  

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Did Aemond really kill Aegon in House of the Dragon and how does he die in the books?

• Aemond’s actor reveals he didn’t wear a prosthetic during House of the Dragon nude scene

• There’s a wild House of the Dragon theory that Daemon might actually be the Night King

Featured images via HBO