The full rundown of Greg James’ wildest antics at the Long Boi memorial, in case you missed it

It finally happened. Just two months after news leaked it was happening, Greg James has been and graced us with his presence at Uni of York’s campus, hosting the much anticipated memorial for Long Boi.

On Thursday morning, Greg recorded his BBC Radio 1 show here on campus in a small portable cabin outside the Berrick Saul Building. The broadcast was later moved to Central Hall, with Greg hosting the Long Boi memorial service in front of hundreds of students and staff whilst live on air.

If you missed it, shame on you. Greg himself read out a question sent in from a student, saying “Can I skip my lecture for this?”. Of course he replied “Absolutely”, live on air with completely no hesitation. I can’t imagine Charlie Jeffery sat next to him was too happy.

Here are some key moments from the ceremony, and the outdoor send-off by Derwent lake:

The Duck’s Prayer

One of the most hilarious segments of the memorial had to be Greg’s prayer for Long Boi. Obviously, the whole of Central Hall had their heads bowed in respect for our favourite duck.

The puns were out in full force, with Greg reading: “Give us this day your daily bits of breads, and forgive us hoi-sins, as we forgive those who hoi-sinned against you.”

Greg was heard saying, “Feed us not into temptation, but deliver us from Ed Gamble”, taking another shot at comedian Ed Gamble, having previously claimed that Ed ate Long Boi on the Great British Menu…

The prayer truly made Long Boi even more of an icon as Greg ended with, “For thy lake is the kingdom, your long neck the glory”. This will forever be stuck in my head when walking across campus now.

The eulogy

Greg’s eulogy was filled with some insane admiration for a duck that he’s never met. But he was long, and that’s all that matters (I guess Greg is six foot four too).

He mentioned a connection that many students felt with Long Boi, reading: “Many of us saw ourselves in Long Boi, he was the best of us, he made the long necked feel seen, he made the lanky heard.” Tall people were truly safer on this campus with him around.

He also emphasised the everyday struggles that Long Boi faced, “Publicly, he led a life of public stardom and adoration, but in the pond, he reminded us of the harsh realities of life, remaining stoic in the face of mockery from the more conventionally attractive birds”. He’s right, because those geese were getting a bit cocky with him.

The music

This is taking over TikTok right now. Why wouldn’t it? It’s insane – but so good. Uni of York’s Sing Song Society, nicknamed the quackapella choir, sang two songs at the memorial.

The first was a Long Boi version of Chappell Roan’s Hot To Go, which was quite simply art.

BBC Radio 1 had sent over the new lyrics for the York choir, including: “L-O-N-G B-O-I. Why’d you have to go and die? L-O-N-G B-O-I. Ed Gamble baked him in a pie.”

Genius.

At the end of the ceremony they sang See You Again, which had every single student in the room rolling with laughter.

As well as the choir, Greg’s choices of radio songs included Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish and Nelly Furtado’s I’m Like a Bird. Very on theme.

The minute of quacking

This is the thing that made me question if Uni of York is real. Genuinely, who agreed to this? A whole sixty seconds of quacking very, very loudly. We’ll be doing it at graduations next.

Greg was so excited for the minute of quacking after the statue unveiling, he was heard saying: “it’ll be funny for a bit, then it won’t be, then it will be funny again. A bit like my breakfast show.”

The 60 seconds went surprisingly fast, but I think everyone was in a state of shock.

Surprise celebrity tributes

Greg was seriously committed to this memorial. Radio 1 had put together a segment of celebrities claiming their love for Long Boi, with some of the voices heard including Andrew Garfield and Tom Grennan!

There were literal gasps when this was heard over the Central Hall speakers: “This is Andrew Garfield, wherever you may be, I don’t think we’ll know whichever place you’ll end up in, we just know the life you lived and the hope you gave us.” Rumour has it that Long Boi inspired Andrew’s return to Spider-Man in No Way Home.

Actress Jodie Whittaker (literally Doctor Who) said “It’s a sad day, but a wonderful day, because you’re commemorated as you should be. It’s a loss to the world, but your star shines bright.” Very kind words, thank you.

Tom Grennan went a bit mad for Long Boi to be honest. Had you really heard of him before going on Radio 1, Tom? He said: “I am so saddened to hear the news of Long Boi the duck. What a lot of people didn’t know is that Long Boi was a massive, massive inspiration to me, to my family, to my albums. The way he quacked, and the way he just held his neck so long. I love you, I miss you, keep quacking.” Right, okay…

Heartstopper actor Joe Locke said “I’m really sorry that I can’t be there to celebrate the life of Long Boi today”, but it’s honestly okay because we never expected you to come over from broadway in New York.

Another Netflix favourite, Aimee Lou Wood (Sex Education) was heard saying: “Long Boi, you were so tall, and so lovely, and you’ll be missed. You’ll be in our hearts forever, so long live Long Boi.” Amen.

Burial by the lake

The biggest surprise of the morning was the vikings that rocked up out of nowhere. They simply just appeared. To be honest, it can’t really be that surprising when you live in York, but it was still quite random.

Greg and the vikings gathered by Derwent lake, and he threw a big inflatable duck into the water as a final send-off for Long Boi. The inflatable had the official Long Boi BBC Radio 1 merch on it – a bucket hat to be precise.

The uni staff managed to get the inflatable duck back out of the water once the show had ended, so that’s lucky for them.

Touch the beak

The uni’s art curator, Helena Cox, took to the stage in Central Hall to let everyone know about the new bronze statue.

She quite clearly said to all of the students, “I, as the official curator, am inviting you to get hands on with the statue, touch that beak!” Okay!

And it looks like we’ve got some new York lore coming our way, because Helena claimed that touching the beak will make the students here thrive: “Your essays will sparkle with genius, your exams will be a breeze and luck will follow you wherever you go… when life gets a little difficult, go and rub that beak.”

Clearly, we need to add rubbing Long Boi’s beak onto the route of our mental health walks. Problems solved – thanks Uni of York!

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