Meal deals really aren’t that great

They’re neither a meal, nor a deal

Its approaching 2pm and you’re in a rush. You’re about to sit through an hour-long lecture and you need something nutritional to stop your stomach from making that weird noise where it sounds like you’re farting. For every student across the country, crisis is easily averted by a supermarket “meal deal”. But are they really even that good?

Not impressed

There’s never any choice

Everyone loves them for their unparalleled convenience, and yes I must agree, they are quick and easy, but so is getting hit by a bus.

Don’t expect to find a deep-fill egg and bacon or New Yorker sandwich, you’ll just be disappointed.

Inevitably, by the time you’re actually hungry, all of the good choices are gone and you’ll be left with a plain ham sandwich, bottle of water and packet of mini carrots. Or worse, cheese and pickle, the poly of sandwich choices – they’re no one’s first choice and are just a bit shit.

They aren’t a meal

Inhaling a soggy BLT, can of lilt and packet of mini cheddars will never be enough to substitute an actual meal. Either way, you’ll still end up having three bowls of Shreddies when you get home.

And if you thought you were being healthy with your choice, you were wrong. A bottle of coke, smoked ham and coleslaw sandwich and bag of lightly salted crisps from M&S has more calories than a large portion of cheesy chips.

They aren’t a deal

For the truly money savvy, you could buy yourself a steak fajita wrap, 330ml can of Red Bull and Walkers Sensations Thai sweet chilli crisps at Tescos for a saving of £1.85. But who has enough time to do that maths? The blind panic when faced with the realisation that your snack actually counts as a meal will also cause you to make an ill-judged snap decision.

Many argue they are a deal but you must question the price of specific items when bought individually. How can Boots justify charging £3.25 for a triple-decker chicken sandwich but offer it as part of a £3.79 meal deal? Even if you just want a sandwich you’ll always feel obliged to fork out more for a drink and snack purely as a result of the British love of the word deal.

What even is coconut water?

There’s too much packaging

None of this will ever get recycled.

No one ever feels good about themselves while sat alone on the bus eating a Sainsbury’s basic tuna and sweet-corn sandwich, but it has to be done. As much as I dislike them, there is no alternative.