Geordie chore: I’m from Newcastle and nobody understands me accent

Wayeye pet

Uni must be the first time southerners have heard northern accents – and they just don’t understand us.

When I tell people I’m from Newcastle I’m usually greeted with a dozen Geordie Shore references and a lot of that accompanying silly hand gesture.

Weyaye man

York has a somewhat limited population of Geordies and whenever I meet another one I get really excited.

But when I arrived here people had a more difficult time understanding me than they did with my Italian and Russian housemates.

I’ve toned my accent down since, however once I’m steaming I sound like Gazza.

Geordies love greggs <3

Sometimes people find my accent aggressive when I’m actually being quite sincere.

When I first came to uni, if I so much as asked someone the time of day they’d react as though I was about to set about their face with a bottle of Brown Ale.

We’re actually nice people in what some from down south consider “practically Scotland”.

North East represent

But It’s not just limited to York. In a pub toilet in Manchester one lad briefly thought I was speaking Spanish. Seriously.

My Welsh and Irish housemates say:”He’s basically incomprehensible. It’s just noise really.”

Compared to me, the Scottish girl in our house speaks the Queen’s English.

Typical trip to the pub

I’ve been told by my mate from Kent that “y’alreet” (“you alright”) just isn’t proper English.

This upset me, and ever since I’ve had to throw away all of the “weyaye”, “howare”, “craic” and “wor kid” for “yes”, “come along”, “banter”, and “my friend”.

Alcohol remains the nation’s universal dialect however.

At times I’ve had to have other Northern friends act as interpreters when speaking to those from the more well-to-do parts of Britain.

But I’ve overcome this hurdle for the most part and now I’m fairly easy to communicate with outside of hand gestures and interpretive dance.

My accent isn’t that hard to understand. People who say “barrrth” and “grarrrrss” are hard to understand too.

This is my plea to you all, feel for us Geordies. We’re stuck with people constantly asking us to repeat ourselves and living under the shadow of awful, soul-destroying stereotypes.

And no, I do not know the Geordie Shore crew.