Celebrity Gogglebox: The definitive ranking of all the current celebs
Shaun and Bez are my dads ❤️
Normal Gogglebox has sadly come to an end for a bit, and Celebrity Gogglebox has once again raised its head. Tale as old as time.
Is Gogglebox worth watching with the Siddiquis? Can we crack on without Jenny and Lee? Well, mostly yeah. It’s still Gogglebox, after all. The premise is always gonna be fun. As a generation, we are obsessed with watching people react. Doesn’t matter what they’re reacting to or if it’s on YouTube or the telly – if someone’s reacting, we’re tuning in.
Normal human being Gogglebox is kind of in its prime. The entire cast is actually pretty much god tier. But Celebrity Gogglebox… it’s more of a mixed bag. There’s icons, and laughs to be had. But there’s a fair share of enemies in the mix.
It’s back on at 10 pm tonight on Channel 4. So let’s get all these bloody celebrity pairings RANKED then shall we!
15. Gyles Brandreth and Maureen Lipman
14. Lorraine Kelly and her daughter Rosie
“Do you want crisps or chocolate or sweets?” Rosie asked her mother the other week. “YES! 🤣😂” Lorraine replied. Comedy gold!
Because she wants to eat all the snacks and cuddle up in jim jams with a wine! What’s she like! CLASSIC Lorraine! She’s just like us! Not sure if this is the real Lorraine Kelly or the character of Lorraine Kelly.
Either way, it’s like watching telly with your ma.
13. Sunetra Sarker and Georgia Taylor
Lovely ladies, I’m sure. But in the immortal words of Big Brother’s Jayne Connery, I’m bored shitless.
12. Mel C and her brother Paul, who I will be calling Paul C
I’m partial to a bit of Mel C. She’s Widnes’ finest export, after all. But I’ve concluded I exclusively will enjoy her when she’s belting her tits off, nothing more, nothing less.
Paul C is boring as fuck and brings nowt to the table. Next!
11. Denise Van Outen and her fit fella
You know what? When Celebrity Gogglebox first came on I loved these two. It might just have been my thirst for fit Eddie speaking, but I cherished their inclusion.
Fast forward two years, and they get where water wouldn’t. I cannot escape this couple and their forced laughter. They would turn up to Celebrity Dogshit Scoopers. They are on EVERYTHING.
10. Mo Gilligan and Babatunde Aleshe
Not too bad, these two. A pleasant addition to the mix. Not really bringing the belly laughs or the iconic moments but they don’t get on my tits either so that’s something I guess.
9. Laura Whitmore and Iain Sterling
The only couple from Love Island that actually matters!
They’re here for the Fiat 500 girlies, and that’s okay! The cheugy crowd are pleased to see them. I don’t mind Laura and Iain. It’s a lot of Laura going to Iain “OMG you’ve never seen Dirty Dancing!? It’s a classic babe!” but they’re cheery enough.
8. Clara Amfo and her brother Andy
God, I bloody love Clara Amfo. A queen, an icon and a hoot. With great music taste.
Her brother Andy seems sound, it’s not a barrel of laughs when they’re on but it is purely good vibes, and I value that very highly. Also, her flat’s dead nice.
7. Jamie Carragher and Micah Richards
CORRRRRR JAMIE CARRAGHER. The fit Scouse Dad of my dreams. Literally have no clue who Micah Richards is besides the fact he does something football-y, but I wish him well.
Love their reactions and dynamic. It’s just fun seeing people who seem sound having a laugh.
6. Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes
Sorry but Ruth and Eamonn just make me howl. There’s something hilarious about them. They just feel like people who should absolutely not be in show business but just kind of ended up there.
Seeing them at home feels like a glimpse into the unknown. Eamonn is an enigma and Ruth is camp as tits.
5. Nick Grimshaw and his niece Liv
Always happy to see these two. Feels like I’m hanging out with my mates. Nick Grimshaw is a proper hun and Liv seems like a good time gal.
Love how expressive in their reactions they are to everything they watch and it’s probably the sofa I’d most want to be sat on.
4. Clare Balding and her wife Alice
New additions to the Celebrity Gogglebox roster, but VERY welcome ones. Icons, actually.
Funniest moment of this season so far goes to Clare and Alice, for this one liner that I’m still snorting over two weeks later:
3. Anne-Marie and Tom Jones
Imagine the young and old pairing of T*ff and St*nley J*hnson, but not absolutely pure evil!
A duo that feels random till you remember they judge together on The Voice. Absolutely nobody knows that because not a soul watches it.
A really fun duo, though. You can tell they just proper get on and are good mates. Anne-Marie is sound vibes and Tom Jones is just an absolute LEGEND, I love his energy and I want to be his best friend.
2. Martin and Roman Kemp
Lord have mercy. Send me to h*rny jail.
Can never decide if I fancy Roman or Martin more because they’re both so sexy in their own right. Too fit for words, actually. I fancy them so much. Never heard a word they say on the show because I’m too busy phwoaring. Are they funny? Someone let me know.
I’m joking, of course. They kill me off! Love their relationship and the laughs they have together. Fills me with serotonin. Adore them.
1. Shaun Ryder and Bez
I’m no monarchist, but Shaun and Bez are my kings. And my dads. I adore the bones of them.
Comedy gold whenever they open their gobs. Absolutely laugh my head off week after week. An iconic friendship, an iconic pairing and I’d watch them react to paint drying. Also I fancy Bez. Sue me!