Diary entries of survivors in Epstein’s files reveal the disturbing reality behind his abuse

Amid the huge release of files connected to Jeffrey Epstein, some of the most difficult material to read is actually the words written by survivors themselves in their diary entries.

Scattered throughout the millions of Department of Justice files are diary entries, private journals, interview transcripts and personal messages written by victims over several years. And they paint a far clearer picture of what life around Jeffrey Epstein was like than anything else ever could.

So, what do these diaries actually show?

According to Sky News, many of the accounts come from young women who described being drawn into Epstein’s world as teenagers. Some writings appear to date back to the early 2000s, while others relate to events closer to his 2008 arrest.

In a scrapbook believed to have been written around 2007, one survivor, “Lauren”, began her story with the line, “Once upon a time, there was a clueless little girl…” before documenting meetings, travel, and her growing confusion about the relationship.

Elsewhere in police interview transcripts shared in the files, a survivor identified as “Charlotte” described first meeting Epstein at 17 while trying to earn money.

She told investigators she was shown a massage room and asked to give Epstein massages. Over time, she said he repeatedly offered more money for escalating sexual acts. “He would offer me more money if I had s*x with him,” she said. “And I said that’s never going to happen.”

She added, “The third time, it was when I took my shirt off. And that was when he paid me $300.”

‘I feel broken and exhausted’

via Joe Schildhorn/BFA/Shutterstock

Another survivor’s coded journal, referred to as “Kimberley,” details the emotional toll of being inside Epstein’s circle. Her entries describe exhaustion, fear and isolation. “No one can prepare you for this sh*t. I am so f*cking lost,” one entry reads. In another passage, she wrote, “Jeffrey treats me like I am ‘special’ property.”

The journal also references travel between locations linked to Epstein, including New York, Palm Beach and private islands. She wrote, “Alice in f***ing wonderland? It doesn’t matter. Disgusting pigs.”

She added, “I feel broken and exhausted. I am so f*cking tired of this sick and twisted ‘game’ that’s causing such physical and emotional pain!”

Later entries appear to describe deeply traumatic experiences involving multiple pregnancies. In one passage, she wrote, “I think I am going to break. Why would he bring a friend and make a video? I am so broken.”

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Another entry details the physical pain she experienced, “And the procedure was so painful and blood all over the sheets. I can’t play this game anymore, I have to ask Ghislaine for help.

“…I am now over 20 weeks with baby. We are certain is his, and I had to go to the Bahamas like this. I am too young and he is too old! Why is no one doing anything, I don’t understand! I don’t want this! That company doesn’t protect kids. They use it to find us. And they are everywhere! I cannot escape!”

The journal ends on an especially bleak note, with Kimberley writing, “I am so very exhausted. My body feels so tired. Will I ever be free?”

One thing that stands out is how often Ghislaine Maxwell is mentioned

In interview notes published in the documents, one survivor, referred to as “Rachel”, described Maxwell initially coming across as a trusted older figure. According to her testimony, Maxwell would approach young girls in casual settings and slowly build familiarity before Epstein became involved.

Rachel recalled that the first meeting with Epstein and Maxwell didn’t feel unusual.

She described Maxwell taking on what felt like a “big sister” role, arranging outings like trips to the cinema or shopping. Rachel said she was around 14 when she first travelled with Epstein and Maxwell to New York, adding that she didn’t fully understand the nature of their relationship then.

According to the notes, Epstein and Maxwell would buy clothes for her, “including underwear, white cotton underwear.”

Rachel said she believed she was the only girl involved and didn’t realise how many others were connected to Epstein until his arrest years later.

She also told investigators that situations were often presented as instructions rather than requests, saying she felt guided into sexual experiences she didn’t fully understand at the time. Maxwell, she claimed, was frequently present and sometimes encouraged behaviour in the moment, which made everything seem normalised.

Looking back, Rachel said she only began questioning what had happened after seeing Epstein’s arrest reported on television.

One diary entry sums it up in just four words: “It is ALL horror.”

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