How to humble yourself: November Bristol humiliation rituals

November at university really knows how to beat you when you’re down. If countless deadlines weren’t enough, here’s some things that are bound to make November at university just that little bit worse.

Your umbrella blowing inside out

Looking out the window and seeing rain is up there with one of the worst things about winter at university, especially in Bristol. Knowing you face a trek some compare to climbing Mount Everest, facing driving rain and gale force winds, is sure to make your November blues even worse. If you’ve ever survived the humbling experience of having wind somehow blow your hood off and your umbrella inside out at the same time, just know you are not alone. Bonus points if you’re in the middle of campus, and just about the entire student body is there to watch you fight a losing battle with your rickety £4 Primark umbrella. (Totally not speaking from personal experience here of course.)

Searching for a seat in the library

Congratulations, you’ve finally made it onto campus (umbrella intact, hopefully). Your next challenge: find a seat in the library. Dodging the dreaded laptop on table but empty chair combo is absolute skill, but having to trail up and down the aisles searching for a seat, facing the smug looks of students who managed to snag a spot, is probably the most torturous form of humiliation. Combined with the dead silence, so quiet you can hear your own panicked breathing and squeaky footsteps, it’s almost enough to make you just quit and head home.

Freezing cold fashion

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Nothing says fashion like the outfits you concoct trying to stay warm in a freezing cold house. If you think you’re comfortable with your housemates: Think again. Spotting yourself in the mirror, shuffling around in a fluffy dressing gown, trackies and slippers even your nan wouldn’t be caught wearing, is guaranteed to add to the never-ending humiliation that is November at uni. If you get to the point where you strap a hot water bottle onto you using your dressing gown cord, like I have been known to do, its time to turn the heating on. There’s only so much your confidence can take.

Turning up to lectures late

As mornings get colder, and you’re greeted with mould, condensation and dragons breath inside, the temptation to stay in bed for another 10 minutes grows. Leaving your cosy warm bed is like the world’s hardest escape room, but you run the risk of having to walk in late to a lecture, a fate no one wants to face. Hearing your footsteps punctuate every word your lecturer is saying, feeling the burning gaze of your fellow students as you hang your head in shame. At this point, just don’t go in – you were only going to do online shopping with your laptop up in front of you anyway.

Sneezing in a silent library

Tis the season of sniffy noses and sore throats – the winter colds have officially hit. As if your brain wasn’t tired enough, now your body has given up the ghost too. Damp rooms, arctic temperatures and general burn out provide the perfect ingredients for your body to cook up the most humbling cold ever. The combination of this and deadline season is humbling. Having a sneezing or coughing fit in a dead silent library is just the cherry on top of the cake, disturbing the precious silence maintained in the ASS. To break it is to break the concentration of your fellow peers, shattering it like a piece of glass.

If it makes you feel better, I once sneezed so hard my headphones fell off and clattered onto the table, making enough noise to draw attention of the entire floor of dedicated students around me. Wouldn’t recommend.