The Love Island 2025 cast as tinned cocktails: A very thorough and serious analysis

Love Island has finished for 2025 *sobs*. To help fill that gaping hole in your life, we assigned iconic members of the Love Island 2025 cast a spirit tinned cocktail (see what I did there?).

Yas would be an espresso martini and that’s an objective fact. And Tommy just gives strong Pimm’s energy. So, here’s the Love Island 2025 cast as tinned cocktails.

Angel – gin and tonic

(Credit: ITV / Tesco)

She seems to be a very nice person. But I’m not going to lie to you, I can’t tell you anything about her beyond the fact that her name is Angel. Oh, and that she was rumoured to have been on a date with someone from TOWIE. But who on Love Island hasn’t dated someone from TOWIE?

Angel would be a gin and tonic tinnie, because those drinks are also perfectly pleasant, but not exactly original.

Cach – Funkin Nitro Passion Fruit Martini

(Credit: ITV / Sainsbury’s)

He wasn’t even in the villa that long, but he came across as entertaining, unproblematic and *gasp* emotionally mature, despite being a man on a reality TV dating show. Cach would be a tinned passion fruit martini, because literally nobody dislikes this one.

Dejon – Moth Negroni

(Credit: ITV / Tesco)

Some Islanders have sung Dejon’s praises since they left the villa. Others have not been so complimentary about him. Negronis are the most divisive cocktails that appear to be available in tins in supermarkets.

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Harry – a bottle of Peroni

(Credit: ITV / Tesco)

Let’s be real. Harry is a footballer. And worse – he’s a Surrey boy. I don’t think he’s drinking tinnies. He’s mansplaining to everyone in the pub that they should only drink locally brewed ales, while his friends nod solemnly as if they too have only just learned what lager is. I picked Peroni because it’s the classic posh boy beer, but I reckon Harry would pick the most obscure thing on tap at the bar.

Toni – Moth Old Fashioned

(Credit: ITV and Moth)

I tried to think of the most American cocktail possible for the first American winner of Love Island UK. I settled on an Old Fashioned, because only people from the USA are delulu enough to think those cocktails are nice.

Our queen Toni deserves to be a boujie Moth cocktail, which are often a bit spennier, but are totally worth it.

Tommy – Pimm’s

(Credit: ITV / Tesco)

He’s only 22, making him the baby of the villa. Tommy seems nice enough, but his age kind of showed with how he handled the Lucy situation. In my head, Pimm’s is a baby-ish cocktail, since it’s often one of the first drinks young people in the UK start with.

Shakira – Schweppes Paloma

(Credit: ITV / Schweppes)

Well, nobody can say that Shakira is boring. I get the vibe that if you went on a night out with her, it wouldn’t be an evening where you have three glasses of wine and go to bed by eleven. It would be a tequila night. The pink-ness of a Paloma matches her girlycore energy, and the grapefruit-ness is a reflection of how maturely this 22-year-old handled herself in the villa. Because if you actually like grapefruit, you are officially a grown-up.

Yas – Moth Espresso Martini

(Credit: ITV / Moth)

She considers herself a black cat, and in my head espresso martinis are the black cat of cocktails. Those drinks are sophisticated and elegant, just like our queen Yas.

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