YOU’s Penn Badgley admits he ‘hated’ his body during devastating battle with dysmorphia

‘The more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be’


Penn Badgley has admitted to suffering from body dysmorphia in the earliest days of his acting career, something that only became more difficult when working on aesthetic-focused shows such as Gossip Girl.

Many of us have seen Penn, now 38, on our TV screens for literally decades, first starting in 2007’s Gossip Girl when he was only 21. But little did we know that he was grappling with some pretty serious issues at the time. Detailing his experience in an interview with The Guardian this year, Penn recalled dealing with body dysmorphia amid being “thrust” into Hollywood’s overt glitz and glamour.

Though not officially diagnosed by a psychologist, he reflected: “I know that I hated my body and simply wanted a different one. There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation, I was jumping wilfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have.

“There’s no way to get past the superficiality of this work, and if you recognise that, you can’t help but recognise the superficiality of our culture, because of the way it rewards this work.”

Working on Gossip Girl at the time, a show that hinged on superficial subjects, was understandably difficult for Penn even if his character Dan was removed from the glamour of the Upper East Side.

Gossip Girl

“What was that show other than aesthetic? That was its thing—the way we all looked. I didn’t particularly love the superficial celebrity aspect of the way I was perceived,” he added.

In general, it was his commitment to spirituality that enabled him to overcome his mental health struggles.

Penn Badgley suffered from body dysmorphia, but what is it?

According to the NHS, “Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.”

It can affect both sexes, though around 60 per cent of cases are in women, and is particularly prevalent in teenagers and young adults. It doesn’t mean someone is vapid or superficial; in fact, it can wreak havoc on someone’s sense of self and affect everything from relationships to diet and health. BDD can also lead to depression, self-harm and even thoughts of suicide.

If you or someone you know has been affected by this story, please speak to a charity like Beat or REDCAN UKYou can also contact Samaritans on 116 123 at any time. You can also contact Anxiety UK on 03444 775 774, Mind on 0300 123 3393, and Calm (Campaign against living miserably, for men aged 15 to 35) on 0800 58 58 58.

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