Here’s what London club you should go to, based on which university you attend

If you’re tired of nights at XOYO, Fabric and Ministry read on for the ultimate guide to spice up your night club repertoire. However, proceed with caution or you might find yourself dancing alongside the finance bro from LSE.

Prepare to impress your uni mates, swerve from the mainstream and rightfully prove yourself to be the “alternative” mysterious friend. You’ll look cool – I promise.

KOKO – UCL

One of my favourite clubs. KOKO, just by Mornington Crescent Station, only a brisk walk away from main campus.  The perfect sunrise wake-me up after a night of dancing – if you walk fast enough, you’ll easily catch your 9am.

A mix of hip cool and historic grandeur, it’s the go to place to look graceful whilst secretly googling how to dance to “techno”. Yes, I see you. The fact that it’s an old theatre only adds to the self-awareness—it’s not just a nightclub, it’s a cultural experience. Just like our degrees. Right guys?

UCL students will spend an hour debating post-structuralist theory and then slip seamlessly to discuss which Simmons they haven’t thrown up in. They’ll show up to KOKO with their perfectly curated thrifted fits and claim they “don’t really do mainstream” while belting out pop anthems in the crowd and guzzling jaeger bombs.

E1 – LSE

One of my staple clubs.  Reliable, a bit gritty and always pretty sweaty. Over in the east of London near Whitechapel, it’s totally worth the shlep.

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E1 is sleek and industrial. The club equivalent of your finance bro “friend” who wears a $500 watch. The sound system is brilliant, and the atmosphere is always buzzing, although some nights can get packed, and condensation will drip from the ceiling.

The LSE crowd might act like they’re above the whole rave scene, but the truth is they’re secretly obsessed with the precision of the bass drops. When they hit E1, sure, they’ll complain about the “commodification of the clubbing experience,” but they’ll still be there at 2am grinding to minimal techno, hoping to score a contract for a high-paying internship.

Please don’t wear your quarter zips to the club. Please. I beg.

Village Underground – KCL

Over in Shoreditch, Village Underground is a renovated old Victorian warehouse, and already that makes it a pretty cool space to experience music in.

KCL students live for this funky architecture—it’s gritty, it’s edgy, and it’s so anti-establishment. (They’ll still probably check if they can get into the VIP area), the club’s industrial vibe is perfect to discuss “gentrification”, ignoring the fact they’ll probably be one of the ones pushing it forward. They wear turtlenecks and sip cashew nut milk lattes while quoting Nietzsche but they’re equally at home in a basement techno rave (even though they’ll definitely try to intellectualise the whole experience afterward).

The CAUSE – UAL

Off the beaten track, my experiences of day raves here are unmatched. Located in Tottenham, it’s a bit of a hidden gem; gritty, no-frills, it’s always experimental and feels a bit rebellious.

The location’s rough-around-the-edges feel is the perfect backdrop for UAL students to act like they’re too cool for the mainstream – it’s just far enough from the mainstream to feel edgy, but close enough for a quick Uber when their creativity does need a break.

It’s unpolished, and unapologetically underground—perfect for the UAL student who claims to know everything about the “latest underground scene” (they were into it before it was cool), and they’ll deconstruct every genre of music as if they’ve just written a thesis on it.

FOLD – Imperial College London

FOLD is near Canning Town. I remember walking home and passing by a guy cooking a BBQ on the street at 6am. Hotdog, anyone?

It’s sleek and techy – the light and sound systems are second to none – the ideal night out for Imperial students.  The club feels like it was designed by a team of engineers for maximum perfection.

Sure, they’ll tell you it’s about the music, but you know they’re geeking out over the sound system more than the actual rave. When they go out, they expect only the finest high-quality tech, high-end sound, and definitely no sticky floors. FOLD is where they’ll go to indulge their love for top-tier production while pretending to care about the real meaning of the beats.

Corsica Studios – Goldsmiths

Corsica Studios is in Elephant and Castle. It’s a hidden gem. Catching the bus home and watching the sunrise over the city is a surreal fever dream.

Corsica Studios is the kind of place where raw, authentic, unfiltered underground feels like the only valid form of existence. It’s gritty and it’s DIY, matching the Goldsmiths student who sweats it out on the dance floor, trying to really feel the essence behind every beat drop. Corsica is for the type of person who refuses to acknowledge that they secretly love the idea of something so off-the-beaten-path. The vibes are low-key and intimate, not an experience to miss.