From techno to grunge: Matching University of Sheffield buildings to music genres

The University of Sheffield’s campus is an amalgamation of different architectural styles, with Edwardian red-brick Firth Court, “modern” (brutalist) nightmare Hicks, and Sir Frederick being our very own Winchester Mystery Mansion.

Sheffield is also home to a conglomerate of emerging artists, hopefully one of them will make it big someday and liberate us from being quizzed about Arctic Monkeys every time we mention Sheffield. It is obvious that in our dear Sheffield, overrated music and abominate architecture go hand in hand.

The Diamond: Techno

via Google Maps

With your degree in engineering already taking up all of your mental power, it’s a no-brainer that you would turn to techno. With techno’s repeating little sounds, there is no need to think, there isn’t even a need to skip or queue a song since they all sound the same.

Let techno soothe you, let it distract you from Laplace and L’Hôpital, let techno help you not think anymore. But make sure that this “not thinking” doesn’t become permanent, as it often happens with prolonged listening.

Firth Court: Classical

via Google Maps

Are you an intellectual or are you a snob? Does it actually relax you or do you enjoy bullying people whenever they mispronounce Chopin?

Firth Court is the epitome of classical music, its structure reminding us of a little palace and being a dark-academia nerd’s biggest fantasy, while letting all the Oxbridge rejects pretend they do study there after all. Firth Court, like classical music, stands the test of time, but be careful, saying you only listen to classical music to the wrong person could result in you looking like a pompous ass.

The Wave: Pop

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When I say “pop” I mean cheesy 2010s pop. The Wave would be the type of person to have one singular playlist on their Spotify and it be filled just pop anthems.

Like, okay we all love them from time to time, nothing like being pissed and hearing that one cheesy song from 2014 play, reminding you of your youth, of simpler times. But at some point, you have to broaden your horizons, discover new songs and genres that aren’t served on a silver platter by Billboard Hot 100.

Sir Frederick Mappin: Grunge

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Grunge is defined as “someone or something that is repugnant” and to me, the Sir Frederick Mappin building is repugnant. You mourn the death of Kurt Cobain even though it happened literal years before your birth, and insist you were born in the wrong generation.

You definitely had a Tumblr phase back in 2014, and still wear converse everywhere, something I can’t blame you for. While I do respect some of the artists you listen to, it’s time to stop calling people “posers” for not being able to name every single song by a certain band, or for liking a popular song of theirs over an unreleased two-second audio leaked in 2010.

Jessop West: Alt-indie

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While indie, which is short for independent, and shouldn’t be considered a genre, it now has become one. More specifically, Jessop West would be alt-indie, acting cool and mysterious while slowly losing its mind as all previously underground indie bands it likes have become mainstream.

You don’t get brownie points for listening to bands with only 10 monthly listeners on Spotify, and nobody cares that you used to like Tame Impala back in the day before they became popular. Jessop West is the queen of gatekeeping music. It’s time to learn an important life lesson; liking mainstream music isn’t bad, and acting like it is makes you look a little immature.

St George’s Church: Country

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If you like country music, we can be sure that you’re not doing it for clout. And no, Taylor Swift’s Debut doesn’t count. Like St George’s Church, you are ancient. You cannot convince me someone born after the year 1990 likes country music.

In this case, I believe you when you say you were born in the wrong generation, or even place. Country music belongs in the UK as much as St George’s Church belongs in our University’s city campus.