12 ‘sheffmemez’ confessions that will make you rethink uni life in Sheffield

If you ever needed proof that Sheffield students are in a league of their own when it comes to chaos, @sheffmemez is it.

The Instagram account has become the unofficial archive of the bizarre, hilarious, and very questionable moments that make student life here so iconic. From flatmate drama to Corp disasters, “sheffmemez” keeps us entertained, procrastinating, and occasionally horrified in equal measure.

So, you didn’t ask for it, but here’s a roundup of some of the most unhinged submissions we’ve come across so far.

Peak disappointment

Ah, the Peaks: Where Sheff students go on a “hike” for an hour, take the same five pictures for Instagram, and pretend they’re Bear Grylls because they packed a meal deal.

Yes, you’ve probably been urged by somebody to explore the beautiful nature that’s right on your doorstep, and that is exactly what I did in second year. But honestly, my trip was enjoyable for a fraction of the time spent there.

I’m not sure whether it was the heavy hangover, the slushy snow, or the fact we were stranded waiting for a bus for two hours, that dampened my review of it, but my god, you lot that bang on about how great it is just must be lying.

One wild night of passion

Wait, why am I jealous? That’s a celebrity. You’ve officially unlocked the Roary mascot romance achievement that the rest of us have been dreaming of. I need to know more details. Like, did he keep the big foam head on? If so, then actually maybe keep that to yourself. Either way, how iconic – lucky you.

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‘Rah’ girlies

At the University of Sheffield the “rah” accent is less an accent, but more a personality trait at this point. It’s less about geography and more about adopting a dialect to match those lucky vintage finds and skinny scarves. But I’ve got to stay, you’re probably from “just outside London” aren’t you?

Also, boys, you aren’t exempt from this slander. Your “rahs” are honestly 10 times more grating, especially when paired with curtains and a button up. I just hope that this awful, stretched vowel business doesn’t latch on to my accent after being around it so much.

Cozzie livs

Well, most of us have been there – though maybe not quite to that extent. Don’t worry – just start calling your overdraft “free money” and embrace the chaos. The life of a student is never that serious anyways. Worst case scenario, you can always sell your soul to a part-time Meadowhall job, live off Lidl’s own brand noodles, or just take a weekend of drinking for once. That being said, if the “help” here suggests any form of donation, you’re at a lost cause there. Sheffield students are stingy.

Crappy accommodation

This is classic – the eternal search for a uni house that doesn’t feel like it’s been converted from a former youth hostel. Chances are that, unless you’re on a stupidly large budget, there’ll always be prison cell beds, a designated shit room and a very aggressive musty smell. There’s honestly no helpful thing for me to say here – just thank god I don’t have to search for a uni house ever again.

MILFs

Do you “think” or do you “know” because if it’s that obvious then it’s time to set some boundaries – or maybe just start locking the door when she comes over for a cuppa. On the plus side, your flatmate’s enthusiasm for family bonding might mean they’re weirdly nice to you for a while – enjoy the benefits while they last. Anyways, this is insanely awkward so maybe just stick to FaceTiming the parents. Stay strong!

Weak bladder

Honestly, it’s Corp, what do we expect? I guess she was just so eager to get back in that she forgot the basic laws of bladder control.

Corp is one of the most in – your – face, fever dream night clubs out there. Anyways, at least she didn’t have to queue in those toilets – probably the most efficient move of the night.

Forced exercise

So so real. They’re like a cruel joke – always late, never go where you need them to, and somehow forcing you to walk uphill anyway.

As a girl putting off taking her driving test, I’m no amateur when it comes to taking buses – but there’s just something about Sheffield where I’d rather walk 40 minutes than endure the tormenting process of trying to navigate their bus system. It’s like they’re trying you make you regret leaving the house in the first place.

Unless you’re in Ranmoor and you’re getting the 120 into campus, or getting the bus to some sort of part time job then it’s acceptable – for anything else it’s a waste of £1.50 (or more if you don’t have a bloody Zoom pass).

Struggle meals

Well, the thought of that has just made me gag, thank you. In all seriousness it seems you have just seen the unfiltered depths of student living, times are hard, I guess. Bold move to pretend it didn’t happen, but let’s face it there’s no coming back from that.

My only advice is to get that person professional help immediately, before it becomes their “strange addiction”, and teeth marks are found in everyone’s Nordpak.

Sticky situationships

That’s brutal. I mean, I get that How to Train Your Dragon is a masterpiece, but if he’s picking animated creatures over you, that’s a sign that he’s more into fantasy than a reality. Immature, man child vibes – think of it as a lucky escape, and maybe a sign to rewatch a classic.

‘Interesting’ people

As an avid hater of slimy insects, I’m going to judge both people in this scenario. I also have questions. Like, did she live in the house and keep it as an actual pet? Or was it found on the street on her way over? Either way, very, very gross and weird. Although, props to her though, if she can make a snail seem interesting, imagine what she could do with an actual conversation?

Attention seekers

Erm, I can sense bullshit. Even though I’m not technically a journalism student this one bothered me which is why I put you last and why you get a shorter response.

Features images via @sheffmemez on Instagram