Here’s which society Sheffield tram stops would join at uni

If you haven’t had the privilege of riding Sheffield’s trams, then I’m truly sorry. Because you haven’t lived.

Personally, I’m Sheffield Supertram’s biggest fan. If Sheffield Supertram has a million fans, then I’m one of them. If Sheffield Supertram has one fan, then I’m that one fan. If Sheffield Supertram has no fans, that means I’m dead.

And while I am the truest and most loyal fan of Sheffield’s tram system, I won’t claim to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of all the stops. But I definitely do have a strong enough connection to a fair few stops to confidently pick up on their vibe and say what society they would join at uni.

Cathedral – Goth Society

via Google Maps

When I stand on the beautifully carved concrete platform of the Cathedral tram stop, I can feel it whispering, telling me how much it feels the call of edgy rebellion, and how much it wishes to act out against the dogmatic religiosity with which it is associated. As a result, where it to be transfigured into a human being, I can tell you for a fact that the Cathedral tram stop would be running to join Goth Society. Go and ask it yourself and see if you can hear it whispering back. Think of your own joke at Justin Welby’s expense, because for legal reasons, I can’t tell you any.

Sheffield station – The Tab

While, we’re not technically a society, I’m including The Sheffield Tab in this piece, because, simply, we can’t be ignored.

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Writing for The Tab instantly gives you certified campus cool status, if I do say so myself. And I do. That makes us kindred spirits with Sheffield station’s tram stop, because it’s truly the King BNOTN (Big Name On Tram Network).

West Street – Sociology Society

via @JedKendray on X

Here’s the logic. West Street tram stop would join sociology society because, I reckon, sociology students spend 90 per cent of their lives in West Street.

Obviously they can’t be studying, because what even is sociology? Never, I repeat, never, ask that question to a sociology student because their head will explode due to the sheer force of friction generated by their neurones moving at maximum speed to try to come up with an answer to that question.

At Uni of, they’ve come up with the delightfully droll name for themselves: “Soc Soc.” Woe betide anyone who runs into them on their West Street ramblings.

Meadowhall – Planning Society

via Google Maps

Meadowhall tram stop sits as part of an interconnected marvel of engineering and transit planning called the Meadowhall Interchange. A feat of human endeavour in construction not seen since the days of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, with, get this, buses, trams (shush, no they’re not just a daft and expensive version of buses), and even trains – were Meadowhall tram stop a person, they’d join Planning Society just to surround themselves with fawning, ego-boosting sycophants.

Similarly, the neo-neo-classical cathedral of retail that sits beside it and for which it is named would probably win Meadowhall tram stop a few fans in Architecture Society as well.

University of Sheffield – Maths Society

via @bcs_lovelace on X

Most uni students couldn’t point out stops like Hollinsend on a map and haven’t even been halfway to Halfway. But, for obvious reasons, the very creatively named University of Sheffield tram stop is one of the tram stops with which university students will be most familiar. Hallamers notwithstanding, we basically all see it everyday. Hence, it’s completely and utterly boring. And it also looks boring. Of course, not every tram stop can be a Meadowhall, or a Cathedral, or even a West Street, in terms of aesthetic stimulation but this stop takes the boringness to the extreme. It’s so immensely, titanically boring that the only thing notable about it is how boring it is. And so, with apologies, that means it would join Maths Society.

Arena – Finance Society

via @JamesTGlossop on X

They say money makes the world go ’round. And it does. We need it to survive. It’s the most important tool in almost all of our lives. And although I want no involvement in it myself, the bland lives of city drones who stare at spreadsheets all day, are, in a slowly declining Britain, the only thing keeping the economic juices flowing. So while, I personally wouldn’t want to find myself at a event at one of the blandest of Britain’s meh-inspiring provincial concert venues, it’s crucial to a part of Sheffield that otherwise would be void of just about anything. Which is a very finance vibe to have.

Featured images via @@JamesTGlossop and @JedKendray on X