plaiceholder

Apprentice power ranking: Who thrived and who Zip Zapped their way to the bottom?

We’re living in a world where ‘Ride dirty, drive clean’ managed to win

| UPDATED

I do not know why The Apprentice is obsessed with making us endure a task year on year where the candidates have to produce an environmentally friendly vehicle, but here we are. I think the show would benefit from the mindset of accepting the candidates are probably better suited to flogging some chips at a market than creating environmentally friendly vehicles. But nonetheless, here we are – and if we’re being honest, not a single person deserved to win this week. Both were dreadful. I miss last year’s season more than you could know. That aside, we’re back, we’re power ranking – The Apprentice 2023 cast ranked for week five.

13. Mark

Apprentice 2023 power ranking five

Via BBC

The vibes continue to be truly dismal. Ex military approving the bike gets called “soldier”? Yeah, course.

12. Reece

Apprentice 2023 power ranking five

Via BBC

To put it plainly, a national nemesis.

11. Marnie

Apprentice 2023 power ranking five

Via BBC

She said the term ‘petrolhead’ about a million times, and for this I will never forgive her. How the Soldier shitshow won is beyond me.

10. Shazia

As much as I actually have rooted for this camp queen, even I cannot defend her flops much further. It’s safe to say it was her time to go, but we wish her well.

9. Avi

Sorry this guy is SUCH a joker I can’t cope. I do love him but the way he’s doing all this with his raps for 75 likes is killing me off, especially love how he just fabricates his own retelling of how things went down that always makes him look as favourable as possible. Have to respect the commitment to no reward ratio.

8. Rochelle

Apprentice 2023 power ranking five

Via BBC

Sorry, I want to love her – but WHAT DOES SHE DO? I never even see her! Her and Sohail just drift on by, come on darlin’!

7. Sohail

Via BBC

Another one who sort of just exists and drifts on through. He had some cheek at the treat for the winning team to say it was down to him that they won, lol.

6. Bradley

Via BBC

I’ve been deservedly harsh on Bradley week after week for this Apprentice 2023 power ranking, but on week five I genuinely feel like the disaster of Zip Zap had nothing to do with him. I’d ruin the pitch too if I’d been disrespected for the whole task! His acting was shite but at least he got stuck in.

5. Simba

Via BBC

Honestly just feel like Simba is a really solid, good and dependable candidate and I really like him!

4. Megan

Apprentice 2023 power ranking five

Via BBC

I get bombarded literally every day in my emails with people telling me that Megan is going to win The Apprentice and you know what? I’m starting to believe it!

3. Dani

Via BBC

Not the best week for our Dani, but what still gets her a good position on the Apprentice power ranking for week five is that she’s so good at thinking on her feet. The actor can’t ride a bike? Fine – let’s do something else. A can do attitude!

2. Joe

Via BBC

A finalist. I feel it in my bones. Quote me.

1. Victoria

Via BBC

Gets the number one spot for that iconic green suit dress she had on which when I saw it I literally GASPED. I just really like her, she’s a hard worker and good vibes.

The Apprentice continues at 9pm on Thursdays, on BBC One and iPlayer. For all the latest reality TV news, gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Apprentice power ranking: Evil laughter from tall giraffes VS children with no hands or feet

• Notts grad who’s on The Apprentice made a song about the first episode and I’m dead

• Meet Khadeejah Khan: The London grad who’s the new receptionist on The Apprentice