Attention to all freshers: This is how to survive your first semester at King’s College

The first week of semester one is here. The lovely little freshers will have moved into their first year accommodation by now and have already completed their obligatory freshers night out Egg – It’s a cannon event.

Not to worry, Milkshake Tuesdays at Ministry of Sound are starting soon, so this will hopefully repurpose your faith into student nightlife.

The first semester at university can be challenging for everyone, fresher or not. You’re figuring out how to do things for yourself for the first time, or relearning how to do it all over again. It takes time to get into the groove of things and find your place in the chaos of everything. It can be a mentally and physically difficult experience. What you must remember is that you’re not alone in it, and we’ve all been there.

However, I can make your life a little bit easier here and give you a heads up of all the things you should NOT do as a freshie or even a third year, if you haven’t learnt already.

Buy a freshers’ wristband

Just go and seek our individual events and don’t pay attention to the bots in your Whatsapp group chats.

Tell all the stalls at the freshers’ fair that you will join their society

Memberships are expensive. Choose one or two societies to join, and you’ll be able to enjoy them a lot more.

Take your flatmates things without asking

It’s rude and inconsiderate. Leave their cutlery alone, unless you ask first.

It’s not the way to make friends, you’re still strangers.

Do a tactical chun before a night out

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Don’t recommend. Just stay home or avoid having to do this all together. Pace yourself

But perhaps contradictory, don’t pre HARD.

Unless you want multiples of £12 transactions coming out of your bank when you’re on a night out, go prepared.

Commit flatcest

Or even neighbour-flat-flatcest. You will run into them.

Do your flatmates’ washing up

I did this. They will expect it from then on.

Wear your lanyard

Icky.

Be stingy

Stingy people are the worst. Don’t ask me to send you £1.70 for the mixer we shared at pres. Nor “forget” to send me the £20 you actually do owe me. Let’s just be mindful.

Buy your lunch on campus

Get a meal deal, it’s cheaper.

Accept ANYTHING for free on the street

They will turn around and say “that will be 40 pounds” for that singular rose they ever so kindly gave to you.

Say ‘no’ more than you say ‘yes’

There’s so many opportunities at university. Whether that is somewhere to make new friends, access career experiences, or just make unforgettable memories.

Burn yourself out in first year

First year doesn’t count.

Don’t completely flop it, but don’t overwork yourself. Save yourself for your second and third year.

Go to uni on an empty stomach

Everyone WILL hear your stomach growling at that 10am seminar.

Be silent in seminars

It makes things so awkward, because then no one will have the courage to speak.

Go into your lecture 15 minutes before it’s about to end

What’s the point, really? Just watch it on Lecture Capture and be done with it.

Limit yourself to one group of friends

Make friends with people from all different circles and backgrounds. That’s what uni is about. You’ll always know someone at every event too.

Stay until the end at Fabric

Unless you want to be waiting for an hour to get your jacket from coat-check, just leave 15 minutes before. There’s nothing quite like it.

Forget your KCL ID

It’s a pain getting a “visitor’s access” sticker AND security searching up your K number at the entrance to The Vault or GB.

Eat a bad diet

Try and make a little bit of effort into your meals. You will feel better for it. Otherwise, you’ll just be ill every week.

Lie that you’ve done the reading

The lecturer will know that you haven’t. You’re just embarrassing yourself. Just say you haven’t had the time, it’s fine.

Do your work at the very last minute

You will be stressed.

Rely on your course mates too much

They will get annoyed at you if you have to ask “what is it we’re doing?” every 5 minutes.

Take yourself too seriously

Live, laugh, love really is key. Be a bit silly, it’s fun.

Become a Mayfair promoter.

Get out of my DMs.

Buy queue jump

It’s pointless.

Be a bragger

No one likes a bragger. Is it necessary for us to know you are mates with someone whose been on a Netflix show?

Just be a nice person, that’s all that really matters.

Wear something you’re uncomfortable in

The best way to make a good impression is to be the best version of you.

Wear what makes you feel good in, not what you think someone else would like. No one really cares what you look like.

Leave your washing up for days

It’s not cute or quirky. It’s dirty and you’ll attract flies.

Run for the tube

They come every one to three minutes and please don’t injure yourself by trying to run onto the train as the doors are closing.

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