Why gay nights out are the best, by a straight girl

It’s not all drag queens and glitter

national

Think about Glitterbomb Tuesdays and images of drag queens, glitter and butch men in latex probably spring to mind.

But really the night is about so much more. Okay, there are drag queens. And glitter. But the event in Steinbeck and Shaw is so much fun I almost forgive the organisers for serving drinks in tin cans and hanging an upside down horse from the ceiling.

Plot twist: going to a gay night as a straight girl isn’t actually that different from any other night. Bet you didn’t see that shocker coming.

If you’re straight you may not be able to pull anyone, but you’re pretty much guaranteed a bloody good time.

Here’s why.

You can wear whatever you want and no one will care

The days of spending ages getting your outfit on fleek are over. You could turn up in your underwear and no one would bat a false eyelash. Considering the people that work there (appropriately called “glitterbombshells’”) get paid to do exactly that, you’ll fit right in and, who knows, maybe even be offered a job.

No one cares what you (don't) wear.

No one cares what you (don’t) wear.

It’s a straight guy-free zone

So you’re not going to pull anyone, but you didn’t come for that anyway (if you did, stick to Wednesday night Venue). It’s probably the only evening where you can dance the night away without being inappropriately touched/near enough sexually assaulted by a drunken guy in chinos, so enjoy it while you can.

HUG EVERYONE.

It’s okay to hug everyone without things getting weird.

It’s also a straight-girls-everywhere zone

It’s a universally acknowledged truth that straight girls go to gay nights with their gay pals because, you know, they kind of need an excuse to go. The straight girl population is huge, and the straight guys wandering around Cuban still haven’t figured this out yet. But we’d prefer it to stay that way so they don’t ruin it for everyone else.

GALS ON TOUR.

GALS ON TOUR.

You’ll never dance alone

One of life’s biggest fears is being left alone in Chemistry, or worse, Venue. Ain’t nobody getting out of there alive. At Glitterbomb, you’re bound to make friends without even really trying. Everyone is lovely and you’re always guaranteed a dance partner, even if they dance with you out of pity. It still counts.

Embarrassing dance moves accepted, even encouraged.

Embarrassing dance moves accepted, even encouraged.

Banging tunes

If Cher and an excessive amount of Lady GaGa is your thing – and it should be – look no further than Glitterbomb. The music is always camp and pop proud, meaning you’ll never have to bop awkwardly and pretend you know all the words to Hotline Bling.

"la la la la Hotline Bling, na na na na na one thing."

No more “la la la la Hotline Bling, something something one thing”

There’s glowsticks

Need I say more?

Glow crazy.

Glow crazy.

There is bever a queue for the girls’ toilets

There’s no screaming, no crying, no one taking your eye out when they attempt to apply lipstick. You nip in and out – just like it should be. It really is the stuff dreams are made of.

Dance move or desperately needs to pee?

Dance move or desperately needs to pee?

You’re free to be you

Glitterbomb’s anthem isn’t “Born this Way” for nothing. Yes, it’s a night intended for Canterbury’s LGBT community, and that shouldn’t be forgotten. But the reason Glitterbomb and other gay nights out there are so popular with straight females in particular is because of the attractiveness of an environment where everyone is free to be who they are. And that’s pretty damn fabulous.

Baby, you were born this way.

Baby, you were born this way.