How to avoid Freshers

It’s that time of the year again…

It seems like only last week it was us strolling into campus for the first time; in tow with our tear-sodden parents and jangling crates of cider.

For all you second and third years living on campus, it’s hard to fathom what little sleep we’ll going get during Fresher’s Week – or the whole year, let’s be honest.

There’s very little worse than turning in for an early night with your cuppa tea and 34 pages of further reading, only to be rudely disturbed by the multiple drunken screams and chants outside your bedroom window. Honestly, the nerve!

We were all annoying freshers once, so we will control the urge to call security or shout “shut the fuck up” out the window, and prepare for a week of madness and little sleep.

Campus is going to be buzzing with loud and excitable freshers full of adrenaline and shit-mix, but let’s be realistic, we can’t literally avoid the WHOLE of campus.

We’ve got to be strategic with our fresher-avoiding-tekkers so where are the bestplaces to avoid during Freshers’ week?

Gosta…our haven

SU/B4 Bar is going to be absolutely heaving with freshers. If you want to avoid masses of screaming 18-year olds eating each other’s faces and downing j-bombs, I would highly suggest you avoid this part of campus.

You want to go for a chilled catch up drink with your flatmates you’ve missed all summer?

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Predrinks antics

Forget it. It’s not happening.

But this is what Gosta (bare in mind, we can only hope the freshers won’t have discovered it yet…) or a classic Spoons is for.

When there you can actually have a decent conversation without being interrupted every second by a “zulu-warrior”, attempting but failing to down their Carlsberg.

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Heaven’s gates

Get ready for a few late nights

It may seem silly, as how are you meant to avoid leaving your room?

But seriously, stay inside if you want to avoid the constant pre-sesh’s in the corridor. Have freshers not heard about the ‘civilised’ game of ring of fire around the kitchen table?

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This is how prinks SHOULD be carried out.

I don’t think there’s anything more annoying than innocently picking up your large Dominoes and having to bump into a rowdy group of freshers, asking if you will share your chicken strippers with them.

The answer will always be no.

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Ready to play the ‘don’t fall over the passed out fresher’ game?

Better stock up on some non-perishables and ear plugs if you want to go to sleep before 4am!

THIS IS A PLACE TO STUDY… NOT TO SOCIALISE

The first and second floor of the library is where most “hard-working” freshers gather. I say “hard-working” loosely, because if gossiping about that slutty flatmate sleeping with eight people during Freshers’ Week counts as working, then sign me up to that degree.

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(She’s only asleep, not dead)

But come on, the library definitely isn’t a place for a social gathering. Do freshers not understand that first year doesn’t even count?

To avoid hearing about Abi’s threesome, and how many Sambucca shots Harry and the #lads did last night, the third floor is where it’s at.

Yeah bro…I can bench 200 reps and drink 200 pints

Okay…we know not all freshers will be gym crazy, but if you don’t want to hear about Flat 33’s all boys ultimate lad banter super dench drinking pull ups shot session…avoid the sports centre for the first few weeks.

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The correct way to use the gym

Don’t worry though, fter the first month or so, the super annoying freshers will have given up on the #gymsleeprepeat routine.

All jokes aside, we will ultimately give freshers a break. We’ve all been too buzzed on the thought of having no parents around and accidentally waking up that exhausted final year flat because you’re busy screaming and crying about your cheeky Chicken Hut.

I guess if you can’t beat them, join them?

See you all non-freshers at the Welcome Back Party, Pounded!

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