VOTE: Ranking every Brooklyn 99 character from best to worst

There’s too many to possibly choose

4 years ago

By now you will have found that every time you get onto chatting about Brooklyn 99, people always have vastly different ideas about which character is best. Some (for whatever reason) seem to think that Terry is simply hilarious, whereas others prefer the short humour of characters like Linetti and Diar. Or perhaps even more obscure characters like Dozerman and Mlepnos are your cup of tea? Either way, there are too many and opinion is splot, so we thought we’d settle it once and for all with a vote.

Scroll down, look over your options and then vote for your favourite at the bottom. Nine-Nine!

Jake Peralta

Appearing in presumably every single episode of the series, Peralta is certainly witty and has charisma, but does that make him numero uno? Yeah, he’s funny, but do you really want to go for such a brazenly obvious choice when there’s so many other great characters to choose from? I know, we’re going to make this hard for you (title of your sex tape).

Amy Santiago

Santiago is the character that we could all learn a lot from, at least when it comes to organisation and work ethic. She can be a bit boring, but she’s a good person and a very likeable nerd. Also, she’s married to the funnyman of the series, so perhaps that could make her worthy of your vote.

Charles Boyle

Boyle is so unwittingly hilarious – from becoming involved in a pyramid scheme to buying a food truck, there’s always a funny story where he’s involved. He is a loving father to Nikolaj and, it seems, a great and loyal friend to have. What is there not to like?

Terry Jeffords

Jeffords is definitely the most physically strong cop in the series, and that’s not without good reason: he must be to be able to hold up that level of cringe on such a regular basis (good one, right?). Talking about yourself in the third person during every other sentence? Hrm.

Either way, he’s not an overly bad bloke – not sold on the whole “personality” thing though.

Rosa Diaz

Diaz is an icon on so many levels. She’s a badass through and through, and have you ever heard the actress, Stephanie Beatriz, actually talk during normal interviews? It’s mental.

Not that that’s any reason why you should vote for her necessarily, just letting you know.

Ray Holt

We have a sneaking suspicion that Holt may do well here, but does anyone talk about how everything about his personality is, on paper, really unappealing? Emotionally closed off, monotonous, outwardly dull the majority of the time.

But that’s just not the case. He’s deffo one of the funniest characters in the series, and the kicks you get from when he smiles or laughs are honestly worth it every time.

Gina Linetti

Linetti is just great. Her constant antagonism of the rest of the team and utter willingness to achieve absolutely nothing is remarkable. She’ll probably never achieve anything notable in a serious environment, but that’s okay. Her carefree outlook is refreshing, and I’m sure she’s got big things in store for season 6 (spoiler alert).

Doug Judy

Judy is supposed to be a villain, but he’s really just a sweetheart! He’s like one-half evil and the other half just super eager to be friends with everyone, and don’t we all know that variety is the spice of life! We love a nice bad boy x

Sophia Perez

Yeah, she’s an ex-girlfriend of Peralta and didn’t appear much, but while she was on the show she made an impression for being headstrong, good at her job and ofc quite fit. Big extra points have to go to her for literally being Eva Longoria too, which is cool.

Adrian Pimento

Pimento is a mental, impulsive, police weirdo – he was also with Diaz at one point which was interesting. Then he disappeared and came back as an insurance weirdo. Either way, he’s insane and we like it.

Madeline Wuntch

It’s hard to understand why anyone would want to vote for Wuntch – she was consistently abusive to our collective daddy, Captain Holt, and was generally evil to everyone else too. We’ve only put her on this list for the satisfaction that we’ll all get when she presumably sits at the bottom of the pile and finally gets what she deserves. Ha.

Scully and Hitchcock

Yup, we’ve put them both together because they’re practically exactly the same person. How can we possibly distinguish? By how marginally more one eats or sleeps than the other? It’s like comparing water and ice, they’re different but oh so the same.

Melanie Hawkins

Hawkins is the kind of woman that you wish you could be in every aspect other than that she’s a massive criminal. She’s well decorated, having been a successful cop for many years before turning to a life of crime. Does that make her worthy of your vote? Probably not tbh

Cheddar

We had to put Cheddar in because he’s the most inoffensive and wholesome member of the cast by virtue of his species, and he’s at least five times funnier than Terry.

The Vulture

Another villain in a list of people who are up for the vote of best character – if he gets your vote then you’ve got something weird going on. Regardless, he has got a redeemable quality in his lovely fiance, but that’s pretty much it overall. Ensure he sits near the bottom.

Kevin Cozner

Kevin is great, right? Sophisticated, straight-talking, and a man of culture. He’s fairly similar to Holt, although slightly less intense, and it’s genuinely really nice when he crops up in the series from time to time.

Mlepnos

A rogue choice but not a bad one by any stretch. Mlep(clay)nos is another one of those characters that appears every so often, but makes you very happy when he does. Like when he whacked the violin out and Jake and Amy’s wedding – power move.

Seth Dozerman

Dozerman only appears for one episode, but if you’ve watched it recently then you’ll be very tempted to vote for him. Never before on Brooklyn 99 has a character been so on the mark with every one-liner, but Bill Hader truly is an absolute professional in this field.