The ‘I’m at capacity’ meme is the most brutal yet relatable meme of the year

A thread of texts between two friends has gone viral this week, creating a new meme. It’s being called the “I’m at capacity meme” and it’s all about setting boundaries with your friends.

What started as an innocent exchange between a woman and her friend about their problems and mental health soon became a meme template and people are rinsing it for everything it’s worth. People were either shocked at how cold and robotic the message came across as or inspired by someone being ballsy enough to tell a friend they have too much going on themselves.

If you’ve seen loads of people tweeting something along the lines of “Hey! I’m so glad you reached out. I’m actually at capacity / helping someone else who’s in crisis”, here’s why.

What is the I’m at capacity meme?

The I’m at capacity meme is a copy and paste template for how you can tell someone you don’t have the time or mental capacity to offer them support.

The message you’d send them reads: “Hey! I’m so glad you reached out. I’m actually at capacity / helping someone else who’s in crisis / dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don’t think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could we connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?”

The meme works by people taking this format and putting it into their own situations.

How did the meme start?

The meme started when writer Melissa Fabello posted a thread on Twitter about establishing boundaries with your friends when asking for emotional support.

She said that instead of straight up venting, a friend had sent her a message asking if she had the emotional capacity to listen to their issues first.

The thread began: “I want to chat briefly about this text that I received from a friend last week.” Melissa attached a screenshot of the message, which says: “Do you have the emotional/mental capacity for me to vent about something medical/weight-related for a few minutes?” Within two days, the tweet received more than 17k likes and 5k retweets.

The thread goes on to discuss the importance of being there for your friends, but also having the mutual understanding that sometimes you can’t deal with other people’s problems when you have a lot going on yourself.

It concludes with: “PS: Someone reached out and asked for an example of how you can respond to someone if you don’t have the space to support them. I offered this template.” The template is the copy and paste message everyone is using in the meme.

You can read the entire thread here. 

People have called the thread “exhausting” and it’s started a entire argument about being there for your friends, with one person saying: “They’re a pal not a therapist. You shouldn’t have to ask for an appointment??” Either way, the I’m at capacity meme is kicking off.

Some examples of the I’m at capacity meme

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So if you subtly want to tell your friends you have too much going on yourself to deal with their issues, this is the meme for you.

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