Here’s a ranking of the worst queues every Warwick University student will experience

While reflecting on being in my final year at Warwick, and in my second of living in Leamington, I’ve come to the realisation that Warwick students do an awful lot of queueing. We can’t seem to get enough of it.

We’ll sacrifice arriving late to a seminar in the FAB just because we didn’t want to take the stairs and were waiting for the lift, and we’ll complain no end about how awful the Kasbah queue can get and yet refuse to pay for that queue jump.

After much consideration, here’s an in-depth ranking of all the worst queues every Warwick student will experience.

Buses

Need I say more. The infamous bus queues will haunt me long after I graduate. These are by far the worst queues I have ever experienced – it’s honestly quite impressive how bad they can get.

Many a time I have waited in the freezing cold rain after a night at POP!, slowly but surely sobering up and questioning all of my life decisions while waiting for a bus that the Stagecoach app insists is already there.

Living in central Leamington has its perks, but the bus journey to campus is most certainly not one of them. Attempting to make it to campus on a weekday morning in less than an hour is almost an impossible task.

I have never felt betrayal quite like a U1 gracing the Parish Church bus stop with its presence, for it to be ram packed with students and not even stop. In short, the bus queues suck and they haven’t gotten better in my three years at Warwick.

Halloween Kasbah

Coming in at a very close second-to-worst, Kasbah on Halloween night has been an overall awful experience each year. The club itself is always great fun, but the sea of bodies all desperate to get inside line the streets halfway into Coventry.

As the third group of Coventry Uni students push in-front of you, the extra couple of quid for queue jump becomes evermore tempting, just for you to discover that the ‘queue jump’ queue is just as bad as the regular one.

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I have seen my life flash in-front of my eyes many times in the Kasbah queue and yet somehow I cannot stay away. Kasbah is a personal favourite and I will continue to suffer the queue to enjoy their lush smoking area, giveaways and photobooth.

SMACK Tuesdays

Talking about awful club queues, SMACK is not that much better than Kasbah. If you weren’t quick enough to buy a queue jump online, brace yourself to endure a heave of Warwick freshers, all craving for the disorientating stairs and dingy basement of SMACK.

Co-op

If you’re wanting to buy a quick snack or drink in the Co-op around lunchtime on a weekday, best of luck. I have often seen the checkout queue reach the meal deal aisle and curve round near the entrance, essentially taking up the entire shop.

Grabbing a quick Costa coffee before your lecture seemed like such a good idea until you turn around and realise the cluster of people behind you are the backend of the queue to pay.

Here’s a cheeky tip I discovered last term and have been gatekeeping until now: the queue for self-service is always awful, but you can still pay at the regular checkout just to the right of the tills where there’s hardly ever a queue. You’re welcome.

Rouge Bar

If I had a penny for every time I’ve had to elbow my way past groups of people socialising in-front of Rouge Bar without actually buying drinks, I would be a very wealthy woman. Rouge Bar is a space to buy drinks and then move away, back into the madness of POP! – it is not a space to chat with friends, leaning across the bar and taking up the entire room.

Rouge Bar is not necessarily a well-known Warwick queue and yet I find myself standing around, waiting, and trying to figure out if the ten people in-front of me are queueing to buy drinks or just standing around socialising.

FAB lifts

I have to admit, I’m guilty of arriving 5-10 minutes late to a seminar with no better excuse than having been queuing for the lift. I absolutely refuse to climb the monstrosity of a staircase that takes up the FAB (albeit a beautiful piece of architecture, I’m not walking up that), and so will continue to sacrifice the embarrassment of arriving a bit late to class instead of arriving sweating buckets and as red as a tomato.

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