The most unhinged pancake toppings you could find or have in Cardiff

Picture this: you’ve just handed your friend a beautifully stacked plate of pancakes, but just as you’re about to stack yours, from the corner of your eye, you see their hand inching towards a bottle of mayonnaise. It is at that moment you realise that not everyone can be trusted on Pancake Day.

Yes, pancakes can be both sweet and savoury, but they should be simple and not doused in the most other-worldly concoction of toppings. If you’re wondering what toppings could possibly be so criminal, here are some of the top offenders that you could find in Cardiff this Pancake Day. Some of these might turn out better than they sound but they get worse.

1. The iconic Welsh cake

Hear me out, who doesn’t love carbs on carbs, on even more carbs. Sounds like a diet I could get behind.

Welsh cakes are a staple in Cardiff, in the whole of Wales even, so it would only make sense for it to be a pancake topping, right? I get that it would be pretty excessive to put something pancake adjacent on top of the pancake itself, and for how breath-takingly dry Welsh cakes are, they wouldn’t be mind-blowing on a pancake unlike the iconic maple bacon, Biscoff, or Nutella. This combination, nonetheless, is less of a crime and more of an overachiever. But if you are thinking of trying this, I suggest you proceed with caution because this might be an insult to the Welsh people.

2. Greggs overload

For a city with more Greggs locations that seagulls, it’s only a matter of time before someone looks at a pancake and decides that nothing would go with it better than a steak bake. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Greggs came out with a pancake sausage roll specially for Pancake Day, or a frosted pancake yum yum which actually doesn’t sound bad at all and they should probably take notes. You could argue that for a bakery, pancakes and Greggs wouldn’t be the worst combination.

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3. Taf dirty fries

Another carb on carb showdown. Dirty fries on pancakes might sound like a craving made in heaven after a night out, but on a wholesome day like Pancake Day, this messy attempt at a sweet and savoury fusion wouldn’t be the most appealing. But if you’re thinking of taking savoury pancakes to the next level, who’s to say this wouldn’t be the next best innovation.

4. Uni fridge scraps

As uni students, improvising our meals with the scraps left in the fridge is what we do best and, don’t get me wrong, sometimes we chef up a masterpiece. But if your pancake toppings consist of left-over spaghetti sauce, months old Domino’s garlic dip, and things you have to consume before the ‘use by’ date, we need a serious conversation. Your pancake is a canvas and, instead of liquid gold or Nutella, you decide to smear the remaining jar of pesto on it. Let’s enjoy Pancake Day with the respectable toppings, and leave the fridge clean-out Picasso art for another day.

5. Cathays rat droppings

I’ll spare you the image, I’m sure you can use your imagination. Walking through the streets of Cathays, you may come across the odd dropping here and there, but on someone’s pancake is definitely a rare encounter and hopefully never seen before. It’s certainly a questionable choice of topping and an inedible one without a doubt. To anyone choosing to decorate their pancake with rat droppings this Pancake Day, I hope I see you alive and well the next day. But in all seriousness, I hope you know this was a joke, so please don’t make me accountable for any pancake related A&E visits.