We asked and you delivered: Here are KCL students’ worst pick up lines

Valentine’s Day is like Marmite: You either love it or you hate it. For us KCL students, we’re somewhere between 9 am lectures and The Vault and either locking eyes or swiping on Hinge while pretending to take notes. In that chaos, the pickup lines are flying. Some are smooth, some are baffling, and others would disappoint Cupid himself.

For every person that falls for the confidence, there are 10 more taking screenshots for the group chat. So, if you’re planning on spending February searching for your soulmate at Maughan Library, just remember that flirting at King’s is awkward, chaotic, and memorable. The pick up lines you hear will make you laugh and cringe, and some you’ll keep in your archives for years to come. It’s all part of the Valentine’s experience.

So, for Valentines, The King’s Tab asked KCL students what’s been said to them in the name of romance, and honestly, it was an experience.

“Your smile could make even the strongest man choose peace.”

Maybe this one would work on a war studies or politics student. It’s giving Bridgeton on a budget, but also modern day Byron with a confusing twist. Dramatic? Absolutely. Romantic? Potentially. To whoever received this suave line, you are not crazy for wondering if that was a compliment or a threat.

“You look like the girl that comes on stage with the magician for people to not pay attention to the trick being played.” 

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If you’re on the receiving end of this line, you’re probably hoping the magician will make you disappear instead. One KCL student admitted she actually saved this in her archives for being that memorable, and for good reason.

Is it a compliment, or a GCSE English metaphor gone rogue? We may never know, but at least originality is still alive at King’s, and creative writing skills haven’t been too lost to ChatGPT. To the girl who received this: I assure you, no one would have known how to respond to that either.

“Don’t worry baby, you’re already British because the body is tea (use this on international girls).”

This gem came with instructions, which honestly makes it worse. It sounds like a line that would be half slurred and half yelled in your ear during a boring night out.

They would also make a fool out themselves trying to impress you with their lack of foreign language skills. To any unfortunate international student who had to hear this, you deserve compensation.

“Hey, I lost my phone number…can I have yours?”

For our final banger we have a line that has been heard one too many times and refuses to retire. Timeless, shameless, and delivered with the confidence of someone who’s never been humbled.

How do you even lose a phone number in the first place? To the poor girl who had to hear this: You are valid for wishing the block button exists in real life.

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