Here’s exactly what your Durham degree says about you

Sometimes, fate plays a cruel trick on you and assigns you your eighth choice Durham college. Fate does not, however, tend to assign you a different degree course. From a certain perspective, then, one’s course may say more about them than their college. And while I love slandering colleges based entirely on my mood (contrary to popular opinion, there’s rarely much logic to it…), today we are testing this theory by viciously assigning you a personality type based on your course code.

Law

There are two kinds of law student. One is a really hardworking individual who loves a night out or social event but who is constantly trying to stay locked in. You probably go out once a week but go HARD. You’re genuinely passionate about justice and you’re really informed about global affairs.

As for the other half? Your concern for law overrides any interest in morality. This is a nice way of saying you may be slightly evil. But who am I to say (it hasn’t been proven in a court of law…)?

Maths

Perhaps controversial, but I actually think you’re very cool. Wish I were mathematical. I have a friend (shout out to Joe) who can do mad sums in his head – ’tis very impressive and a fab party trick. So, while I have no idea what you actually do all day, I admire you. You get extra points if you have interests unrelated to maths as well – harmony.

Psychology

Psychology itself is a really cool subject. However, there’s a high chance you are the overused therapists of the group and not cashing in on it.

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Points lost if you therapise unwilling subjects (your housemates) – your degree definitely doesn’t give you the qualifications to do that, diva.

Computer science

Don’t get too excited by this picture of my laptop please x

Do I know anyone who does computer science? Not a soul. But I assume you’re very intelligent and very hardworking. I’m not sure I’d trust you in a debate though – that scene doesn’t tend to appreciate binary thinking. Ba dum tss.

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English literature

I’ll be upfront and acknowledge that this is my course, so this paragraph is essentially me scoring an own goal.

Pros: Probably quite understanding as you encounter a lot of different perspectives and ideas. You probably dress cool (I love seeing people slay in lectures). Probably creative in some other way.

Cons: Based on my field work, you have a tendency to say a whole load of nothing in seminars. You’re still chasing the high of feeling like a god in Years 10-13 English lessons. And you’re almost definitely a bit of a literature snob (but you’d actually probably enjoy a trashy romance if you read one).

Business

How many top business people actually have degrees in business? I don’t know, to be honest – but I’ve got my fingers crossed for you either way. And with access to a business school as swank as the riverside one, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be the next Lord Sugar. If you ever catch hate from anyone, just remember you’re actually rather chill and they’re just jealous of your (really, really, really unfairly) nice study space.

In truth, I don’t think I know anyone who does business. But maybe that’s just a sign you guys need to go to Jimmy’s and Fab’s more…

Politics

You’re slightly rude, but in a way I can appreciate. You’re not cautious with your opinions, you are confident challenging people, and you’re quick to call out misinformation. Essentially, you’re the Jubilee fact checker in human form. And you’re definitely a good person to get a pint with, even if people leave the gathering reduced to repeating: “I’m sorry for my almost global ignorance.” It’s not your fault you’re educational.

History

Ah, I see someone never got over their historical childhood obsession (mine was Ancient Egypt, basic I know). You actually love your subject. And you’re actually really well-rounded, as your subject encourages you to think about lots of different aspects of society. You don’t like jumping to conclusions (so may be the voice of reason in an impassioned yap sesh) and your friends probably tell you you’re too locked in sometimes. We love you though.

Philosophy

You’re very cool. And you can definitely throw a good fit (I sense very good coats and boots). You also probably have a terrible caffeine addiction, which is raising serious concerns for your loved ones. You’re genuinely passionate about your degree, if not slightly stupefied by it sometimes. And you definitely cry when asked which petition your favourite French philosopher signed in 1977.

Liberal arts

Depends on the combination, honestly. You’re probably a great conversationalist as you can easily make connections across topics and disciplines. You’re multi-talented and probably good chat at a party. However, I sense you may be bitter because your degree says “liberal arts” when, really, you studied politics and Spanish or English and theology. And you probably feel the need to make this very clear on your LinkedIn. That is to say, there may be a disconcerting rage beneath your cool exterior.

Theology

I like you. You’re genuinely passionate about learning and probably really love your subject – plus, you get to write some really interesting essays and have fascinating conversations all the time (so you probably have high attendance and a generally good mood). However, the fact Durham is ranked first for your subject alarms us a little. Just don’t let the league tables get to your head and you’re golden.

Science (of any other kind)

I really respect you. Your course sounds very exciting and every science student’s dissertation / research projects sound so fascinating. You’re probably a balanced person, enjoying going out and working, and it’s always a fun time when you show up to the function. Thumbs up.

Disclaimer for legal reasons and my personal safety: this is a joke.

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