How to navigate a first-year breakup

Breakups are the worst, no matter your situation. But the ‘canon event’ of a first-year breakup from the home partner is especially difficult when it’s paired with the challenge of navigating a new life in a new city. Here are some steps I’ll be taking, that maybe you should too, to avoid the slump and take this as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself!

Whether it was different paths, an anchor holding you back, or simply not being happy, a breakup in your first year of university can sometimes feel like the end of the world- especially if it is your strong connection to your life at home. It is easy to think you are completely isolated in navigating what feels like the end of your world; trust me, you’re not. The new year is upon us; it’s time to really put yourself first. Focus on YOU and becoming the best (and happiest) version of yourself. Here are the steps I’ll be taking to make sure that I can heal whilst also try to remain engaged and active in the social life and environment of a new place. I hope it will help you too!

Clubbing

Most Read

I film my straight boyfriend sleeping with other men, and I see no problem with it

Sorry in advance: Here are all the unhinged pics and clips of Beavo’s mum on OnlyFans

I missed the Stranger Things finale’s post-credit scene and it literally changes everything

Now, this is not advice in the typical ‘rebound’ sense; this is not a step to get drunk and wallow. Not only does clubbing constitute drinking and bad sleep, it also forces you to surround yourself with your friends and people you love with slightly lowered inhibitions and DANCE. Hit a sweaty club of your choice, decked with VKs, dance the night away. Just for a moment, you may forget the horrors of your break-up and be reminded of your ever-rich social circle. From experience, this can be one of the most freeing ways to stop caring about what everyone around you thinks and put your thoughts and happiness at the forefront.

Walking

It is proven that walking not only improves your physical health but also your mental health. Take this alone time to walk around and explore the new city you’ve probably neglected exploring. Walk to Clifton Suspension Bridge or take a train to Bath: don’t overthink where your feet will take you or the music playing in your ears. Reconnecting with the world around you will ensure you remain grounded and will work to silence the myriad voices in your head. As you plod, remember, this is such a small moment in your extraordinary life.

Listening to podcasts, read self-help books

Whilst it may sound cliché, books and podcasts are there to help you and, believe it or not, actually offer professional advice for free! Personally, I adore Ashley Corbo’s ‘Trying not to Care’, where she breaks down different moments in your early adulthood and teaches you how to care less about what everyone around you is thinking. So, with moderation in mind, take to TikTok, research breakup books or podcasts and take the time to listen to others who have been in your shoes. You never know, it may be the perfect way to help find your way to healing and therapy.

Spend time with friends and family

People are truly the best medicine to cure your all-consuming loneliness. Whilst they may not be going through what you are, friends act as an amazing distraction to what’s going on in your own life, allowing you to escape from the cycle of sadness in your mind and be present in this new place. You’ve just met these amazing people, marking a new chapter in your life: spend time with them! Let them help narrate this new change and move on from the past. Remember, your friends, new or old, will want to look after you. Create time to cry, laugh and create new memories with them.

Spend time alone

This may sound scary and counterproductive, but don’t underestimate the power of spending time alone as you navigate this tricky time. Take yourself on a solo date, visit those vintage shops, head to the café or read on the harbourside. It’s time to enjoy your own company, because nobody understands you as you do. By beginning to enjoy spending time with yourself, you’ll be focusing more on your own wants and needs; without realising, you’ll be forming a much happier version of yourself. A version that truly understands and appreciates your self-worth.

Get on top of your reading and essays

Whilst this may seem like the least exciting thing, there is nothing sexier than an intelligent, academic weapon. It is important to refocus your mind and remind yourself that there is so much more to life than a past relationship. View your assignments and reading with a new perspective, a chance to broaden your mind and learn, as opposed to a hefty list of uninspiring to-dos. Remember how hard you worked to get where you are now. Take that time to go to the library, get on top of your work and enjoy some more free time without the looming anxiety of deadlines.

Dwell

In all this advice, it’s also important to remember that healing is not linear. It is okay to have moments to dwell and reflect. So, watch those 2000s romcoms, eat ice cream and scream to Taylor Swift because, at the end of the day, it’s important to feel so you can move on and heal. Just don’t dwell for too long; have this step be momentary in a sea of positive actions. Most importantly, remember you are not alone! And, in the wise words of Marilyn Monroe: “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”