The most delusional New Year’s resolutions Cardiff students have ever made

As 2025 comes to an end, it’s time to consider those motivational, totally achievable New Year’s resolutions to start the new year right.

Whether it’s to put more effort into your studies, spend less on non-essential items, or have fewer of those unbearable hungover mornings (or more), we’ll all enter the New Year saying 2026 will be our year.

We’ve all had resolutions that we think we’ll complete within the year but never do, so here are some of the most delusional New Year’s resolutions from Cardiff uni students – that will definitely sound familiar.

1. “I will make it to every 9am”

We’ve all promised the ultimate lock-in, but I can already tell that a warm, cosy bed and sleep-in will win over this any day.

Early, slow mornings, alarms that we’ve heard one too many times and never wake up to, and rushing to get to these hell-sent lectures. Simply put, it’s quite literally impossible to make it to every 9 am.

If anyone has ever completed such a task, I applaud you for being a true academic legend.

2. “No more all-nighters for last minute assignments”

Nothing like bright screens, red eyes and less than 24 hours of nonstop brain-mangling work for a sweet prize of headaches, brain-fog and near giving up (if only our grade wasn’t on the line). A recipe for success if you ask me.

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What student would ever give up nights out or movie and game nights for an all-nighter locked in your room or in the ASSL? But in all seriousness, as thrilling as it is anxiously cramming an assignment whilst trying not to fall asleep, you may want to follow through with this resolution and save yourself from the near-death experience of almost missing the deadline.

3. “I will improve my sleep schedule”

Lights off, eyes shut, in bed by 9pm does sound like a dream, and you may be able to keep it up for the most part of a month into the New Year.

But with nights out, staying up late watching TV, and the dreaded all-nighters doing assignments (aka the busy schedule of a uni student), it’s hard not to stay up past midnight.

On days without a class before 1pm, a lie-in is a must as well, so as much as we might want it, a better sleep schedule is out of the question.

Besides, even if you manage to perfect it, one Angels will completely destroy that for you.

4. “I will stop relying on ChatGPT”

When it comes to all things studying-related, ChartGPT is our trusty cheat sheet. Umm, I mean friend.

How are we expected to pass without our multi-talented lecture notes summariser, essay structurer, source generator and most importantly, our emotional support robot? ChatGPT has stood by our side through thick and thin, keeping us on top of our work, so it would be outrageous to keep it in the past.

Long live ChatGPT!

5. “I will learn to cook more meals”

The weekly rota of spag-bowls, pesto pasta, microwave meals and the odd concoction of what’s left in the fridge at the end of the week. Who really needs to learn to cook more?

Cooking with friends or the one exotic meal we surprise ourselves with may make featured appearances in the New Year, but the uni staple rota is quick and easy. So, the same weekly six or seven meals will remain untouched and consistent in 2026.

6. “I will make it to every YOLO”

Let’s be honest, the queues are just too long.

With the length of the queue, it’s very likely that you won’t get in unless you start queuing from 7pm in a desperate attempt to get in before paid entry, which feels more embarrassing than going to Misfits as a YOLO reject. You will not be catching me doing that every Wednesday.

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