7 Hinge prompts you WILL see in Durham

We came up with the most Durham hinge prompts imaginable

5 seconds ago

May Thomson | Guides, Opinion

If asked: “What is the darkest place on earth?”, your mind may jump to the Atacama Desert in Chile, where the lack of light pollution results in a brilliant sky full of stars. Perhaps you’d think of the Mariana Trench, where sunlight has never reached. But there is a darker space on earth, and that is the sheer depth of Durham Hinge.

Downloading Hinge, generally, is often a rather regrettable act – a decision made in the crucible of loneliness and (likely) many doubles. But the specific combination of Hinge and Durham creates a uniquely depressing combination. In honour of cuffing season, here are the seven most quintessentially Duz prompts we could come up with.

This is definitely NOT profile inspo.

Dating me is like: Getting a 2:1

I feel like this is a fun university-specific version of anything along the lines of “being hit by a car 1000 times a day,” “experiencing hell early,” or “not strongly recommended.” This one is good because it’s rather subtle. It’s respectable, even. Plus, I feel like it could give rise to some good debate.

Together, we could: Travel the world

Mate, come on. I can guarantee you will not be travelling the world with your Hinge matches. The vast majority of online dating encounters end in either tragedy, anticlimax, or disappointment. More power to you if you are touring every continent with the guy who sent you a rose on Hinge, but chance would be a fine thing indeed.

I’ll fall for you if: You ride

We FINALLY have juicy details about Rebecca and Bailey’s post-MAFS split – it sounds hella messy

I’m A Celeb’s Jack Osbourne and mum Sharon both dragged this ‘sick’ celeb they cannot stand

From most to least: How many houses each Selling The OC agent has actually sold

This is just utterly seedy. Naturally, the double entendre here is peak Durham – because I have never met more horse-riders in my life (or, indeed, any, before coming up here.) But if I saw this I would block you.

I go crazy for: Private school girls

If your prompt is anything like this, are you alright? As if the city wasn’t 80 per cent Barbour jackets and double-barrelled surnames already. Durham Hinge is absolutely saturated with prompts about wanting someone “posh.” Maybe evaluate what you actually mean by that a little more. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with dating someone privately educated (get that coin?) but it’s a bit tired as a prompt and a bit odd as a requirement.

I’m looking for: Someone who’ll walk me back up the Bailey like a gentleman

I thought this was funny because it represents the tragic abandonment of one’s standards as soon as they set their location to Durham. Set your location anywhere else and prompts are immediately less horrifying.

Unusual skills: Can recite The Waste Land and down three quaddies

Great if you want that literature-lover allure and to still have some feral nights at Klute. This one says balance and harmony – albeit while being slightly whack.