Here are 10 ways to spot a fresher at Glasgow Uni, and how to avoid looking like one

First things first: What actually is a fresher? Technically, it means someone new — “fresh” — to university life. Usually that’s first-years, but for the sake of this article, we’re expanding the definition to anyone who’s just arrived at the University of Glasgow and still looks slightly lost.

You can nearly always spot these types of people around campus — they’re the ones mispronouncing “Glasgow,” gasping for air halfway up the hill to the library, and blocking the cloisters. Bless them — they’ve got no idea what’s coming once the lectures actually start.

So, for all you people-watchers, here are 10 foolproof ways to spot a fresher on campus.

1. They pronounce Glasgow wrong

Yes, it’s the biggest city in Scotland. Yes, ABBA sang about it. But somehow, people still manage to butcher the pronunciation. (It’s Glaz-go, not Glass-cow.)

2. They keep stopping to take pictures of all the buildings in the main campus

To be fair, who wouldn’t? The main campus literally looks like Hogwarts. But while you’re trying to make your 9am in the Boyd Orr, they’re blocking the cloisters with their phones out.

3. They’re mesmerised by Byres Road

You’ll catch them staring into every café, pub and charity shop like they’ve never seen caffeine or vintage jumpers before. Someone please tell them that picking just one spot on Dumbarton is an impossible task!

4. They’re out of breath

No one warns you how steep this campus actually is. Between the Bute Gardens stairs and the trek up to the library, it’s basically a daily leg day.

5. They’re covered head-to-toe in UofG merch

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One of the perks of halls and Freshers’ Week is the free stuff. If you see a crowd all clutching the same water bottle or tote bag, that’s probably where it came from. Either that or they splurged in the gift shop.

6. They’re juggling five bags at once

For a lot of people, going to uni means moving house. That means there’ll be a lot of people lugging around pillows and pots and pans.

Note: Getting a trolley is a lifesaver. Yes, you may look like a granny, but your arms will thank you.

7. They’ve got about 15 flyers in their hand

Every sports team, every society, every club night — they’ve signed up for all of it. Will they actually show up to any of them? Debatable.

8. They keep spinning around trying to find their bearings

Translation: They’re lost. Thank God for Google Maps (and patient second year students willing to point them in the right direction).

9. They want your socials the second you say hi

Freshers are on a mission. Making friends, building connections, expanding the follower count — it’s all part of the hustle.

10. They’re either buzzing with energy or half-asleep

There’s no middle ground. Uni life hits everyone differently — some thrive on the chaos, others need a nap by Tuesday. Either way, take it easy. You’ve got years to figure it all out.

Welcome to Glasgow. Try not to walk into a lamppost while looking up at the architecture.