‘It’s okay to not be okay’: How the former Made in Chelsea cast is redefining masculinity

Male mental health is an issue that’s becoming increasingly spoken about.

Due to the bravery and courage of men across the globe, it is now becoming a less stigmatised topic.

However, there is one group of men who have surprised and delighted people with their openness on the issue, and that’s the former Made in Chelsea cast.

Jamie Laing, Sam Thompson, Joshua Patterson, and Spencer Matthews have all been open about their struggles, and through doing this are shunning the outdated masculine stereotype of hiding one’s feelings.

It’s a move that has been rightly praised, as these these former Made in Chelsea cast members work to redefine masculinity through their own inspiring stories.

Jamie Laing

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Jamie Laing has been incredibly upfront and vulnerable with members of the public about his mental health.

He has not shied away from admitting that he has struggled in the past with feelings of loneliness, sadness, and anxiety.

Jamie often talks about these issues on his podcast but has also opened up in interviews in hopes to get other men to speak up.

In an interview, Jamie expressed that his “lowest point” was when he had a panic attack whilst he was still a Made in Chelsea cast member. He said it caused him “extreme anxiety” and explained that he didn’t know what was going on at the time.

“Back then, this conversation around mental health that we have now, didn’t exist. I was feeling very lonely and isolated within myself. I also felt embarrassed and scared about what I was feeling.

“I didn’t talk about it to anyone and because of that, I didn’t understand if it was ever going to stop. When you don’t know if something is ever going to end, it’s a really scary position to be in.”

Since opening up about this experience, Jamie has gone on to raise over £2 million for charity by competing in a challenge that saw him take on five ultramarathons in five days.

And it was during this event that Jamie proved to the world that it is more than okay for men to cry. He was openly emotional on camera during the event, and received immense praise for this.

On Instagram, he shared a news article screenshot which praised his attitude and how he is actively breaking down the “toxic manosphere”. To this, he said: “In a time when toxic masculinity is seeming to bubble through it’s important to remember that it’s OK to be vulnerable, it’s OK to be anxious, sad, upset. It’s ok to not be OK… It’s OK to have bad days and it’s OK to have good days.

“As a nation we need to remember this, we need to remember to share our emotions and to not feel wrong, ashamed or feel that we’ll be alienated. Vulnerability is cool!”

Sam Thompson

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Sam has also been praised for his work in attempting to end toxic masculinity through vulnerability.

The Made in Chelsea alum has been open about his neurodivergence, having been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.

Social media users were quick to show their support and admiration following his diagnoses, with one person writing: “A guy not being afraid to speak up and share his diagnosis and doing it with humour, is a superpower in my opinion. That kind of openness will definitely help others on their journey too.”

His connection with Tony Bellew, which started on I’m A Celebrity, has also been widely spoken about as their friendship broke toxic norms and provided proof that it’s okay to lean on and seek support from your friends.

Sam, like Jamie, also completed his own charity challenge recently.

Earlier this year, Sam took part in the “Match Ball Mission” for Unicef, during which he ran and cycled from London to Manchester.

He raised a mammoth £5 million, and showed viewers that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Joshua ‘JP’ Patterson

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JP is a former member of the Made in Chelsea cast, an ultra-marathon runner, and a mental health advocate.

Following a barrage of negative media, JP explained he faced “suicidal thoughts and anxiety”, but since then has become a key supporter of numerous mental health charities.

Speaking to Samaritans, JP said: “As someone who has been affected by mental illness over the years, I empathise immensely with each and every person that has faced such an objection in their life.

“Luckily, I’ve been blessed that when I hit the lowest points in my life, I have had access to a support network to enable me to come through the other side. Sadly, this is not a reality for everyone and for me, that is not ok. It is simply unimaginable to have to face mental health problems alone.”

JP is aiming to de-stigmatise mental illnesses and show those struggling that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

JP has also done numerous runs for charity, including one on 29th May 2021. This is when he became the first person to run a marathon in all four UK countries in just 24 hours, raising nearly £30,000 for Samaritans.

In 2023, he was back fundraising again but this time he ran 76 marathons in 76 days. This was one in every UK city, raising over £320,000 for Samaritans and setting a new world record.

As well as running, JP has written a book called Fortune Favours the Brave: 76 Short Lessons on Finding Strength in Vulnerability. The publication is a set of the 76 motivational lessons he used to fuel himself to complete his 76-marathon challenge.

Spencer Matthews

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Last, but certainly not least, our final former Made in Chelsea cast member, Spencer Matthews.

Spencer has been incredibly open about his struggles with alcoholism, a topic that men often feel uncomfortable speaking about.

He said there was a point in his life where his addiction was so bad, it pushed his family away: “I look back at the time wasted where I could have been turning myself into something else.”

Speaking to The Sun, he added: “There have been times in my life when I’ve really felt like an outsider with my own family, because of my behaviour and ­general attitude.

“I had a kind of arrogance about me, where I just felt like I could do stuff without actually doing it.

“I had such a bad relationship with alcohol. I abused alcohol all the way up till my late twenties.

“I almost felt like I wasn’t trusted by certain people in my own family. I lived with a fair amount of shame.”

He further admitted that he knew his drinking was “out of control” but since then has created his own alcohol-free spirits.

Spencer founded CleanCo, which is now an award-winning brand, and gives others who wish to remain sober different alternatives to alcohol.

If you’re struggling with any of the themes mentioned in this article, you can seek help with Samaritans by visiting their website or calling 116 123. You can also seek addiction support with Alcoholics Anonymous.

Featured image via @jamielaing/@spencermatthews/@joshuapatterson_jp/@samthompsonuk on Instagram