‘I wish I’d died instead’: Nottingham attack survivors speak out about their guilt

Two survivors of Valdo Calocane’s Nottingham attack have spoken publicly for the first time since 2023.

Sharon Miller, 46, and Wayne Birkett, 61, were both pedestrians targeted by schizophrenic Valdo Calocane after he murdered University of Nottingham students, Grace O’Malley Kumar, Barnaby Webber and school caretaker, Ian Coates.

In a BBC interview, both Ms Miller and Mr Birkett have expressed experiencing survivor’s guilt from the attack.

“I thought I was dying. I wish he had taken me instead of the students,” said Ms Miller, explaining that they “their whole lives ahead of them”.

Ms Miller suffered orthopaedic and psychological injuries that have left her unable to return to her job as a commercial cleaner. She is now undergoing rehabilitation and has to walk with a stick.

Mr Birkett explained how he also sustained life-changing injuries, including a head injury which left him in a coma. He has no recollection of the attack or of what life was like beforehand. Consequently, he has had to “relearn how to read, write and even use the television”.

Adding: “People who I’ve known for 40 to 50 years have to explain who they are. It’s embarrassing and frustrating… [but] I feel lucky, because the other two people who got run over saw what happened.”

Valdo Calocane was convicted of the attempted murder of Wayne Birkett, Marcin Gawronski and Sharon Miller via Nottinghamshire Police

In February, an independent report revealed that Calocane had not been in contact with either mental health services or his GP for about nine months prior to the attacks. Before this, he had been discharged after he repeatedly failing to engage with medics.

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The killer was also not forced to take his anti-psychotic medication because of his fear of needles. The review disclosed a plethora of failings on the part of the NHS.

Regarding this, Ms Miller said: “He should be in prison. He should have been forced to have had his medication.”

Justice Secretary Shabana Mahmood announced that a forthcoming inquiry into the Nottingham attacks will be held by Her Honour, Deborah Taylor. Ms Miller and Mr Birkett hope that the inquiry will provide them with answers as to why Calocane was left to roam the Nottingham streets freely.

Talking about the upcoming inquiry, Ms Miller said: “We seek to understand how someone with paranoid schizophrenia – who had been detained multiple times under mental health provisions, faced allegations of physical assault requiring police involvement, and consistently refused medical treatment for his condition – was able to commit such an atrocity.

Mr Birkett has also spoken out on actions that the government should take moving forward to restore trust in these institutions, suggesting “better mental health provisions, improved justice facilities and a more transparent East Midlands police function”.

Featured image via Nottinghamshire Police