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It’s not all about Crown Place

8 years ago

Sara Les | Brands

Are you a Crown Place Princess or a Carnatic Creeper? Catered vs. non catered, campus vs. off campus, prison cell blocks vs. luxury living – the age old turf war over the best halls is never ending. Until now.

We’ve rounded up your mares and your memories to finally settle the beef – unless you’re in Vine Court as you’ll probably be having it for your four course dinner.

Carnatic

Whether in the prison-like white halls of Rankin or the weird, slightly hidden away Lady Mountford, Carnatic is the Marmite group of halls we all love to hate. Residents are edgy and pretend they didn’t go to private school, chugging Strongbow into the early hours of the morning and getting 2:1s for eternity.

The Carni field is home to layabouts and sportsmen alike, and by the end of second semester it’s like a savannah watering hole where every type of person comes together to complain about how much they hate it and also how much they would miss.

Once the year’s over you’ll immediately miss that everyone was only two steps away and there was ALWAYS someone who wanted to go out.

Ciaran from Carnatic said: “Carnatic brings people together as we bond over how bad it is, how much fun we have and how much money we win each week at the Carni Quiz. Did Vine Court ever put on a Valentine’s Day edition of Take Me Out? Carnatic is where memories are made.”

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Greenbank

Ahh, the children of the demolition site. Those residing in Greenbank are the evolved, slightly posher but still cheap relatives of Carnatic. They have better dinners and balconies, but they never make it to the bus in the morning.

They effortlessly avoid the “posho” image of the on-campus accommodations but don’t quite reach the cretin status associated with Carnatic. Hungover diners dominate the canteen on Sunday afternoons, shaking in their pyjamas and slippers over plates of chicken nuggets.

You do get to spend your summer days lounging about the two parks right next to your halls. There’s something special about spending all day playing frisbee and sunbathing, and being able to pop home for fresh lemonade, or at least a glass of vaguely cool tap water, whenever you want.

Max from Greenbank said: “Greenbank is basically Carnatic but with better food and slightly bigger rooms. Also less weirdos wandering in off the streets.”

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Vine Court

Vine Court is to Crown Place what Carnatic is to Greenbank. It’s similar but slightly less new, and filled with more international students. They have Prosecco at pres and are fitter than those off-campus, but not as fit as everyone at Crown Place.

Vine Court is also host to the biggest student divide in halls – the catered/non-catered divide. Those catered are on higher floors and in smaller flats, and they eat together thus forming impenetrable groups in the first two days of the semester. Everyone at Carni and Greenbank envies their breakfasts, but are too afraid to actually go in and try them because they would be spotted from a mile off.

What you’ll really miss about Vine is the the convenience of its location – rolling out of bed into your 9am lecture at the Rendall building is ideal. Even though your flatmate is probably a post grad who’s too into his Engineering thesis to talk to you, the luxury of an en-suite and the fact you never have to encounter the 699 will make it all worth it.

Toby from Vine Court said: “It’s nice enough, but it’s full of post grad students who are too invested in their engineering projects to talk to you.”

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Crown Place

The newest of the new, the cream of the crop. Crown Place is nicer than Vine Court but still comes with all the same assumptions. Champagne at pres? Check. Hunter wellies in case it rains? Check.

You probably go to every single one of your 9ams, rolling out of bed at 8:55 and scraping glossy hair into a bun or up into a quiff. It’s always squeaky clean, and since it’s all self-catered, residents can cook their own gluten free lactose free vegan courgetti spaghetti.

You’ll miss the way people would look at you in awe when you tell them you live in Crown Place. Living there is like having a Blue Peter badge – you’re at the top of the food chain and you know it.

Alexandra from Crown Place said: “If uni was a chick flick, Crown Place would be the Regina George of halls. Rich, popular, and a little bit fitter than everyone else.”