Stop saying Queen Mary is the worst Russell Group uni. We’re so much more

They couldn’t be more wrong

You might have seen people call Queen Mary was the worst Russell Group of them all. In the past we’ve even been voted the worst of the elite unis in a nationwide poll.

Firstly, Queen Mary is an excellent university and there are so many reasons that we are the greatest of them all. Secondly, everyone knows the worst uni in the Russell Group is Liverpool – not us.

I’ll start with the serious academic stuff, because my argument isn’t just based on the vast array of chicken shops that are open to students.

It just takes a quick look on our ‘latest news’ page (which I didn’t even know we had until today), to see how much research and academic work we actually do. Medical science grants, creating wider access to both the legal profession and legal studies, we’re pretty much churning it out. Not to mention the fact that our English department is staging a version of ‘The Tempest’ in Rio (Did you know that? I do English and I didn’t even know that).

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Look at these smiling Electronic students. They’re researching decision systems. Sounds Impressive (not sure what it means)

A second claim that was made was that we live in a shitty part of London. Well, having lived in Nottingham, I’d rather live here than in Lenton. Mile End is a great place to live, its cheap and cheerful and full of character. I defy any other Russell group uni, to say they have more drunk food options than we do. Plus, I don’t see our first year students striking because they live in a dirty, bug infested hovel, unlike UCL, who have the pleasure of paying over £200 to live in squalor. I’d rather live next to a beautiful canal and not have bugs in the East End than live in the centre of the city, it really is a no brainer. Plus pretty much all our accommodation is on campus, unlike Imperial or KCL. As a very lazy person, there is nothing better than knowing it takes less than 5 minutes to walk to Bancroft.

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Look at beautiful, green, imposing France House. No bugs here, just great views.

But lastly, the main reason QM is not the worst russell group of them all, we really don’t take ourselves too seriously. Unlike KCL and UCL, we really couldn’t care less what the the rest of the Russell Group think of us. If you’re that desperate to prove that you’re better than everyone else then you have a serious complex and the uni you’re at was clearly your second choice and now you need to justify yourself.

Sorry babe, but slagging off QM doesn’t make your uni any more relevant and you’ll all be living in Bow when you graduate anyway, because who the fuck can afford a house in Clapham without the help of Mummy and Daddy.

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See ya later haters.

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