You should love your giant forehead
Does it shine bright like a diamond?
If you’ve got a five-head or you look like you’ve ‘got something on your mind’ then times are hard because your head looks like it could be a landing strip for an A380.
You cut your hair and get some bangs and spend hours combing in the perfect parting to disguise that blank part of your head that you know people are itching to use as a memo-board. Your Mum will continue encouraging you by saying that a big forehead means big brains, which doesn’t quite correlate with your grades but you’re equally convinced you’re too intelligent to be at university, because you might be the next Billboard-head Gates in the making.
But there really isn’t any such thing as a beauty-flaw, it’s called character and shows you that you are unique. Harry Potter’s forehead is probably the most famous and inspirational of them all. How else would they have recognised him as the Boy Who Lived? Without his famous forehead that bared the mark of You Know Who, he was just another posh twat with lots and lots of money riding around on his nimbus 3000.
Realise that it’s all in your head (lol). If you’ve been staring at it for hours, watching the light bounce off of its plain canvas, then you might have made this an issue far bigger than that enormous space between your ears. Remember there’s someone out there that dreams of planting kisses on your beautiful, bulging temples, even if it is your Nan. Let’s be honest, Rihanna’s forehead hasn’t exactly kept her off of the cover of magazines.
With that huge brain of yours, you probably also have an amazing personality. Not to mention, you have a social advantage with all that space to store fun facts in. And there’s nothing sexier than intelligence. Think Benedict Cumberbatch. He looks like a wax-work model of himself, but the man could probably detect what you had for breakfast from a fart. So dreamy.
The other great thing about loving your giant forehead, is that once you get over it you can stop worrying. You can start to notice what you do like about the way you look. Maybe you have sultry, beckoning eyes that can hypnotise a man to walk into a lamppost, or a smile that assures old people into having chats with you at bus stops and post-office queues.
It’s not the end of the world, so you can stop getting the violins out every time you do your makeup. No one is staring and no one is wishing they could shine it like a fine leather shoe.