Video stars damn Imperial’s ‘farcical and fallacious decision’ to disqualify winning entry

Martin B damns Imperial ‘to hell’ for disqualifying leading video despite cheating rumours surrounding the winners


Bad news video fans.

“The Top 10 Things to do at University” has been controversially disqualified from the Business School Video Competition.

After six weeks of tension and over 180,000 Youtube views, the leading entry was disqualified because of how some randomer posted it on Reddit.

The Top 10 Things you can do at University... All those moments lost in time like tears in the rain.

The Top 10 Things you can do at University… All those moments lost in time… like tears in the rain.

The video was described as awful, brilliant, and a strange mix of Tommy Wiseau and Sharknado with a bit of Ed Wood on the side.

But despite racking up over 80,000 views and making it to the front page of Reddit, the viral sensation was disqualified from winning a £5,000 prize.

Apparently its posting on the “front page of the internet” brought the College into disrepute.

The redditor who posted it on the site incorrectly said the video had been banned.

Unfortunately, its creators can take little solace in the irony.

Martin B told The Tab: “The only people Imperial are kidding are themselves.

Never before has a bolder artistic vision challenged so many stereotypes. Imperial’s farcical and fallacious decision to disqualify us hides their true motive – to silence the general public and quash any form of protest.”

But the boys’ distress has not been limited just to them: “Myself, James, Martin K and my father had booked ourselves on an all-inclusive budget package holiday to Alton towers starting on the July fourth and finishing sometime late October.

“The deposit was paid and our prize money would fund the rest. I mean the bloody second class train tickets were reserved for crying out loud.

“This scheming comittee and their hidden agenda took that all away from us. From my ailing father Lewis.

“Damn Imperial. Damn them to hell.”

The video caused quite a stir when it got out – it’s been featured by us, received a nasty riposte on its humour – or lack of – and even The Huffington Post got wind of it.

And according to the Business School it broke rules on “ethical promotion”.

But those pesky “ethical promotion” rules apply not to its students creators, but to the mistakenly-informed interneter who used the word “banned” instead of “funny”, “tragic”, or “nearly as ‘good’ as those people in Chem Eng”.

All these would have probably sufficed, but instead the Business School cited their supposedly-faustian bargaining with the reddit gods for generating hits.

It's understood to not be his fault

It’s understood to not be his fault or the cafe man’s

The competition’s results – described by Martin K of video fame as “so absurd I want to cry” – have finally been announced six weeks late after the Business School had to verify the results in the face of controversy and allegations of view-buying by the winning entry “One Education”.

The unnervingly professional/promo video “One Education” had a number of Google+ shares from seemingly identical accounts.

But it was decided by the panel that there was insufficient evidence to support the allegations of cheating. We were unaware that anyone uses Google+.

Looking for anyone who actually uses Google+

Looking for anyone who actually uses Google+ is another pastime for those with too much free time

And even further controversy arose because two of the videos were taken down by Youtube for breaking their terms of service.

According to the competition’s rules they should have been disqualified, but it appears neither were. The others have since been made private by the Business School so we can’t show you this thirty second portrait video saying Imperial can make you walk through walls which won £500.

Even the so-bad-it-should-be-good-but-is-still-really-really-bad video from those Chem Eng Fourth Years would have won money in this competition.

If they slapped a “Video Challenge” tag on it they’d have taken home enough money to pay for Joe Parkin’s taxi into College and have enough left over to go to the Queen’s Arms and buy cod and chips for lunch. Or singing lessons.

But the winners in the end were (because there was only four entries after the disqualification):

Jackpot prize (£5000): Imperial College Faces
1st prize (£3000): One Education
2nd prize (£2000): MBA in 73 words
3rd prize (£500): Walk through walls (A 30 second portrait-recorded clip about people walking around in the Business School’s basement saying the place makes you walk through walls)

Although to be fair, all of the above are far more amusing than the drivel the Union put out as its Summer Ball “Highlights” piece.

Thankfully not good enough (skip ahead to the second video at your peril)

The worst outcomes of this aren’t the money, it’s that the heroic filmmakers can’t go to Alton Towers like they promised they would way back in March with either their parents or various cooking tools as they promised.

But it’s summer so they can probably get a few buy one get on free coupons in the Daily Express or something.