‘He’s just become part of the sesh’: What it’s like having a baby at uni

At uni, most students are concerned with the amount of Elf bars they’re getting through, the number of VKs they’re consuming or their diss deadline. But one student, Chloe Bayliss, had many more important things to consider after having a baby in her first year of university.

Chloe began studying Actor Musicianship at Leeds Conservatoire in 2020 and graduated last week. But she had her little boy Wren on the 20th of August 2021, a month before she was due to move into her second year.

Since having Wren, she’s been posting TikToks sharing her journey of having a baby at uni. In one video she wrote “You had your baby at uni so now he’s just become part of the sesh”.

We spoke to Chloe to find out what it is really like having a baby at uni.

‘I felt like the decision had been taken away from me’

Chloe split up with her boyfriend in December 2020 after moving to Leeds from Devon for uni. But then in March 2021, she found out she was pregnant. “I was already four months pregnant at that time so I had no idea for that long,” she said.

“By that time there wasn’t really a lot of options for me. I couldn’t really chose to keep him or not because I was already so far along. So I had to keep him which was really hard for me because I felt like the decision had been taken away from me.”

‘I thought I was going to have to quit’

“I loved my degree I was doing and wanted to carry on with it but I thought I was going to have to quit.” People told her she would have to take a gap year or quit but she “just really didn’t want to.”

“So I ended up being like actually I’m just going to try and carry on and if I can’t I’ll just stop and take a gap year and so I just carried on with the course whilst I was pregnant.”

Chloe shared that she found being pregnant at uni really difficult. “We we’re just coming out of lockdown and I had everyone around me being like ‘Oh my god we’re going clubbing again for the first time, we’re doing this for the first time’ and I couldn’t join in with any of it. It was so difficult for me being pregnant.”

‘He would come to classes a lot of the time’

Chloe then had Wren on the 20th August and started uni again on the 20th September, only having a month to recover. “He would come to classes a lot of the time with me but we also had a childminder who would obviously have him as well. She is absolutely amazing and she’s been so flexible.”

Chloe would be in university 30 to 40 hours a week. She said: “It was super busy and so difficult at first to adjust to being a mum at the same time as being a student and balancing all these things but eventually it just became part of my routine.”

‘He’s got his own little uni family’

As she doesn’t really see her family, Chloe said the support she received from her friends was what got her through. “He’s got his own little uni family of everyone doing our course and everyone at our uni absolutely loves him. Obviously, I raised him, but I feel like we’ve raised him all together its made us so much more of like a family.”

She also shared the support she received from her uni which was “amazing”. She said she was “so scared that my uni would be like ‘No you’re having a baby sorry you’re out’ but my course leader Erin has been the most incredible person in the world and she believed in me.”

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Chloe and Wren lived in student halls designed specifically for families. They lived in a flat alone together but the accommodation had lots of families with children who Wren could play with. “A lot of the students were older than me though,” she said.

‘I did still manage to go out’

On juggling student life and being a mum, Chloe said she managed to make a “mum, uni and life balance. It’s tricky to do and juggle it all and I did manage to go out a few times.” Wren even joined her and her friends on the sesh as seen in her TikToks.

@choflo671

Wait for the dance moves from Wren I am CREASING #fyp #wrenatlas #teenmom #youngmum #mumsunder21 #sesh #studentmum #studentlife #babyboy #toddlerrave #gangster #19andpregnant

♬ Gangsta’s Paradise – Rerecorded – Coolio

On dating at uni with a baby, she said: “I think I’ve been so busy that dating isn’t something I’ve been thinking about. There’s been a few flings here and there, nothing really romantic or anything but it’s been purely that I don’t have time. It’s definitely something I want to think about in the future but I think for me, the person I find now is not just a boyfriend its gonna be a massive part of my life, I’ve got a child it’s a big commitment and its definitely tricky for people.”

“I’m just doing me and if someone comes along then someone comes along but I’m not particularly desperately trying to find someone.”

‘It’s not that your life is over, your life is just different’

Chloe faced a lot of judgement when she first got pregnant. She said: “Everyone says you’ve ruined your life, your life is over, this is your life now but it’s not that your life is over it’s just that your life is different. You have to adapt your life to fit your baby in, not the other way around. It doesn’t completely change your life and scrap everything you wanted to do.”

She added: “Because that’s what so many people said to me, your life’s over now, you’re not going to finish your degree, you’re not going to do what you want to do and it’s not true at all. Your life does definitely change but it’s only going to change how you want it to change.”

“I would always say to anyone who’s questioning ‘should I be a young mum?’ No don’t do it, but I’m not going judge you if you do.”

‘If I could change it, I would not have had a baby so young but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy’

Having graduated last week, Chloe and Wren have just moved house and out of student accommodation. She has also just got a temporary job as a Teaching Assistant and also has several freelance acting gigs she picks up.

When asked whether she’d change anything about her life, she said: “If someone said to me I’ll click my fingers and you will have Wren but you’ll have him in three years time I’d be like absolutely. And I know that’s quite controversial for some people because don’t get me wrong I love him with all my heart and I wouldn’t change him, but I can’t lie it has been so unbelievably difficult being a single parent.

“If I could change it, I would not have had a baby so young but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with my life because I am, I’ve just adapted it.”

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