Are you a fresher? Here’s my advice as a recently graduated student

In life, we all step into new chapters, new beginnings, start new paths, and open doors that eventually will close.

Uni is one of those chapters that when it’s time to close the door, it is likely you will have grown, changed, and found out who you want to be and what it is that makes you happy. And because I’ve not graduated, I want to pass down these tidbits of advice I learned through quite a LOT of chaos, struggle, joy and growth.

Connect with yourself and don’t be afraid to spend time alone

Building self-confidence is important for life. One way to build it is to surround yourselves with people who make you feel appreciated and valued.

Until you find those people or it feels like it is difficult to spend some quality time with yourself, so don’t be afraid or ashamed to spend time alone, whether it’s in your room, going on walks, or running errands, and in your daily life at university.

I used to get scared to do that in case it meant that I was missing out, or failing expectations, or being perceived to be ‘uncool’.

In truth, those moments of solitude may very well be the most meaningful times for growing and developing yourself.

You are inside your head and with yourself for your whole life, hanging out with yourself at a time like Uni is special and important! Don’t worry what anyone thinks if you are content with what you do.

What I learned that REALLY surprised me: not all great friendships hit it off from the start

I used to think that after finishing school, you can tell if someone is going to be a proper friend or not by the first few interactions; I thought if the chemistry and vibes are there at the start, that’s how you know.

University showed me that I’m not correct in this at all. Some of my dearest and best friends for life that I’m finishing uni with now were the people I had surface-level convos and moments with in the first few months of meeting.

There weren’t chemistry or vibes for the first few months with some of them, and those same people ended up becoming my best friends and my people in my life!

Maybe our first few interactions were riddled with me being shy, awkward, not quite myself, or the same for them, and the second you start being comfortable and being yourself, and vice versa, then you can actually see if your personalities can bond.

Be open to everyone and don’t assume

That person you may take a first glance at or exchange the first word with, and think “they are not my vibe,” may turn out to be the dearest, funniest and best homie of your life.

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Don’t make yourself miss out on new friends by closing interest to people outside of the bubble you are used to. New people you meet have the power to make you feel most authentically yourself, as they don’t know your past, insecurities, or worries, so make the most out of the environments where you can gain new friendships!

Choose for yourself

Accommodation, societies, modules. Choose for yourself, even if you’re scared of doing something alone.

You may imagine all the scary scenarios and things that could go wrong when you consider doing something outside of your comfort zone. But make sure you also imagine what could go right.

Sometimes, the things that feel the scariest can lead to the most exciting chain of events. You may end up feeling so glad that you took the chance, and when you look back, you may feel proud of yourself for doing something that once scared you and seeing where it led you.

I chose my accommodation based on what I wanted, regardless of knowing people who made different options. At first, I was scared that I wouldn’t get along with my flatmates because they would all be complete strangers. Instead, I ended up meeting a friend for life.

Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s

Remember that your journey is your own.

Do not compare your journey, your present state, your current situations, or positions to ANYONE ELSE. Your walk is yours only, and your destination is different to everyone else’s.

I personally find comfort in knowing that God has a plan, even when I can’t see what that plan is yet. There have been moments where I didn’t understand why things were happening the way they were, only to look back and realise they led me somewhere else I needed to be.

Walking along the path means getting to know what makes you happy and fulfilled. There are always people to meet and things to do that match with what you find fun and enjoyable, so follow that and don’t put yourself in positions that don’t make you happy.

Uni is your time to discover, without pressure and at your own pace, what you think your purpose in life could be and what your unique gift is that you could share with people and the world.

It may not be comfortable at first, but it will pass and it’s normal for it to be tricky. I almost dropped out of first year before semester two, and pushing through and holding on was one of the best decisions I ever made!

Embrace it, open up, get out there, lean on lovely people and ENJOY Freshers’ Week! 

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