This is exactly what the colour of your Uniqlo bag says about you as a person

If a shoulder bag and bumbag had a baby, it would produce a Uniqlo bag. This hybrid masterpiece is renowned for being both practical and fashionable, so it’s not surprising that they were all over the For You Page last year. Watching people stuff a wine bottle, toothbrush, four tops and a charger in there is impressive, but even a whole year on, the hype just won’t die down. There’s good reason for this and is why everyone has one. They now come in so many colours and obviously your choice of Uniqlo bag screams volumes about your vibe, whether you like it or not.

Black

What’s the point? Points scored on practicality are lost on (lack of) style. Owning a black Uniqlo, you’re understated and not one to kick up a fuss. You wait for TikTok to tell you your latest style and switch it up with each new trend. You’re definitely indecisive, proven by your lack of commitment to an actual colour and you mainly fill it with lip balms and hand sanitiser. While you might get away with pairing it with your whole wardrobe, it lacks fun. Where’s the risk? Get a boring baguette bag like everyone else.

Green

Somehow we haven’t over-worn green yet and I’m so glad because the green Uniqlo bag is up there in the top two. The perfect neutral, the olive green Uniqlo has influencers everywhere drooling. If you’re a fellow green ally, you’ve got a creative eye but aren’t quite as brave as the rest. You’re unbeaten at layering garms and you can match said green with anything. You’ve definitely skin matched your jewellery and encourage your mates to do the same, reciting how it’s “an investment into yourself”.

Yellow

This might be the happiest bag out there; yellow screams fun. You’re either the first to leave the party or the last – there is no in between. Whichever you do, you do it unapologetically. Everyone knows yellow is the hardest colour to wear and for that, you pick up points for confidence (obviously), but also for individuality. I can count on one hand how many yellow Uniqlo’s I’ve seen in the wild so you’re automatically admirable if I catch you wearing one. You’re just pure vibes.

Red

Underrated. The red shoulder bag brings any outfit from a four to a seven, granted it’s paired by someone capable. Anyone committed enough to spin this item is undoubtedly creative; odds are you crochet, paint or at least read and at least half of you have a mullet. You appreciate the impact of a statement piece and defo shared Lady Gaga’s meat dress on your Facebook timeline back in 2010.

Cream

Contrary to where you thought this might be going, cream has got to be the best choice when it comes to Uniqlo bags. Anyone can rock cream – you might be an almond girl, a gym rat – even an Oh Polly girl pulls off the cream. You’re in touch with trends but your style isn’t established. You love to reinvent yourself but you don’t take it too seriously. Life’s a ride and you’ve got a front row seat.

Brown

If full fat Coca-Cola were a Uniqlo bag, it would be brown. Moderately boring but interesting enough to survive, the brown bag is inoffensive. You purchased the bag for practically and it’s primarily used for commuting. You’re by far the most sensible Uniqlo bag owner and you take your bag upkeep seriously. Your organisational skills are second to none and you always wear SPF.

The TikTok dupe

Either you’re savvy or cheap, depending on who you ask. Considering Uniqlo sell their shoulder bags at a fair sum of £14.90, I have a limited admiration for the dupe-ers, but award points for individuality nonetheless. You’re a ruthless character and have the patience of a saint. No amount of hassle deters you because you know what you want and you’ll scour TikTok shop until you get it.

Keith Haring collab

Those daring enough to venture into Uniqlo collab territory are undoubtedly die hard fans. Any collab purchase suggests strong brand engagement but the Keith Haring collection really takes the bacon. You’re wacky and unpredictable and likely grew up watching FunForLouis on the family iPad at weekends.

Nylon crossbody bag

For those who just have to be a little bit different, the added zip of the crossbody bag provides enough edge to distinguish you from the shoulder bag army. Credit for functionality, owners of said bag are hoarders and more than likely strain the zip with receipts and advantage cards but never miss an opportunity to correct someone that “no – it isn’t actually the viral Uniqlo bag. Didn’t you see the zip?”.

One handle bag

The one handle is actually so stylish and I’m jealous of anyone who has it. Owners of this fine accessory: You go above and beyond to be original and it pays off. You’re a bit last minute, hence the need for the larger than average bag which eliminates those crucial minutes of bag admin from your commute. You’re sexy and you know it.

Uniqlo U drawstring shoulder bag

You’re a six-year-old child who has P.E.

Corduroy

The corduroy bag is the definition of shoot and miss – a great idea in theory but which fails to deliver in so many ways. Those tempted by the autumnal, cosy fabric are easily influenced, are impulsive purchasers or are just those who pick a font and use it for life. You die-hard Uniqlo fans have undoubtedly had this in your basket at one point in time and I urge you to stop and question your choices. Sometimes there are no ways to improve a masterpiece and in this case, the cord Uniqlo bag is an unneeded addition to the collection.

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